Thursday, November 5, 2009

Do I Tell Her Off? Or Do I Not?

She's been our helper 2 weeks before I returned to work. I can still remember the first day I met her. She was in her green shirt, and black tudung, looking rather timid, like a scared kitten lost in the crowd.

Truth be told, I was nervous to meet her then too. I was nervous at the thought of some stranger looking after my son while I am away. However pushing all the negative thoughts aside, I put my faith in her and left everything in Allah's hands to care for the rest.

But she's been a good maid so far. So far, until I caught her lying to me – for a few times to be exact.

Case #1

Since she needs to sleep with the light on, I have a few times informed her to switch the pendaflour light off before she goes to sleep and use the dim light I have provided her instead to save the electricity.

Me : Bik? Kamu sudah tidur? (the sound of bed creaking – she was on the bed, getting up)
Bibik : (opened the door with that just-got-up-from-sleep look on her face) Belum buk. Lagi menggosok (ironing).
Me : (playing dumb) Oh. Kamu jangan lupa tutup lampu sblm kamu tidur ya. Pasang lampu tidur yang itu. (pointing towards the bedside lamp)
Bibik : Ya buk. Saya lagi menggosok. Belum tidur.


Case #2

The red spinach which soup is supposed to turn red, turned to black.

Me : Bik, kenape kuahnya macam ni bik?
Bibik : Ya, saya tambahkan sos tiram dikit tadi. Kurang ya?
Me : Eh tak, bik. Tak payah tambah tiram. Cuma air dan garam je.
Bibik : Oh enggak, saya belum masukkan tiramnya. Bayamnya memang merah gelap begini.
Me : Eh bik, tadikan kamu cakap kamu masukkan tiram?
Bibik : Enggak belum. Saya cuma pikir mau masukkan dikit, tapi belum lagi. Tunggu ibuk rasa dulu.
Me : (playing dumb) Hmm. Takpelah. Lain kali kalau masak bayam merah, jangan letak tiram ye bik.
Bibik : Enggak, enggak ada tiram.


Case #3

I came back from work, and saw a dark smudge on Aydein's shirt.

Me : Bik, ni ape ni eh? (pointing to the smudge at Aydein's shirt and sniffed it. It smelt like chocolate.)
Bibik : (facial expression changed) Eh, apa ya? Mungkin tiram buat masakan tadi.
Me : Tiram? (Wow, oyster that smells like chocolate! This is new; I should tell CNN!) (playing dumb) Hmm. Takpelah. Lain kali kamu cuci tangan dulu sebelum pegang Aydein ye bik.

Case #4

This happened just yesterday. Aydein poo-pooed while I was having dinner so I asked my maid to help clean him. When she returned with Aydein, he was in a new bodysuit.

Me : Eh bik, kenape kamu tukar baju Aydein? (Aydein just had his bath and the bodysuit he had on him earlier was still fresh and new)
Bibik : (facial expression changed) Itu di belakang bajunya ada poo-poonya.
Me : Oh ye ke. Tapi tadi lepas dia poo-poo, saya tengok bajunya bersih je lagi.
Bibik : Enggak lah. Ada poo-poonya. Ya ibuk boleh pergi tengok sendiri lah.
Me : (hmm? why is she getting defensive on me?) (playing dumb) Hmm. Takpelah.
(Later that night, I went down to get some drink and I saw Aydein's shirt "that's got poo-poo on it" in the dirty clothes' basket. I lifted it up, inspected it, and sure enough, it was spotless clean. It even smelt good of the clothes' softener.

And those were the cases that I can recall for now. Of course there are more, but if I were to list them all here, you will never hear the end of it. Did you know, though, why I keep myself quiet for most of the time and even though I knew she was lying to my face, I still play dumb?

Because I know I am at her mercy. Because if she wants to let go of her frustration while I am away, she might lash it out to my only baby, as innocent as he may be.

But don't get me wrong, she still is a good maid and I do like her. She takes very good care of Aydein and is very patient with him (which is the most important thing). She also keeps the house clean, does the laundry & the dishes, and gets up early too (after being told of course). She just has problems being honest with me. Is she afraid of me? I don't know. Is she afraid of losing her job should she reveal the truth to me? I don't know. What I know is, I have twice told her before, that she could just be frank with me if she did anything wrong and that I would not be mad at her. (And I really wouldn't. I just need to hear the truth, that's all.) But for some reasons that I dont know, she still insists of telling me lies and that irks the heck out of me.

But thinking of all the good things she has done for us, I have tried to be discreet, hold myself back and swallowed all the lies she fed me without questioning her back. And they were just small matters anyway, so I figured I could just close one eye and let her get away. But then it hit me.

How long do I need to play dumb and let her make a fool of me? A part of me is dying to let her taste a piece of my mind – that I knew she's been lying to me all these while and that she should stop doing that and that she should just be frank with me and I will be much happier that way. But the other part of me is asking me to hold myself back, continue to stay quiet and be patient for Aydein’s sake. But for how long?

Please anyone, please tell me what to do, because honestly, I am already at my wits' end!


bintiegen said...

thara, klu die dh start bohong, means u kene hati². lg 1, indon² ni dh dibekalkan dgn "ilmu²" b4 jd perantau, so klu bley, jgn slalu sgt bg bibik ni msk² kan utk kt. utk cleaning bley. skali skale msk pon bley. since u pon kj kan. i understood. u de simpan anything that valuable x kat umh? better u watch out for that. my maklong also has bibik indon. very innocent, very young. but sorg pon x sangke, die de "belaan" yg mencurik duit & brg² berharga. even dlm peti besi pon die bley msk w/o break the code n box. bile bc entry ni, rs cm x sdp ati plak. hati². byk lg nk ckp, tp cam supe tulis blog plak kn nnt :p. ekekeke.

Thara said...

bintie :
yeah insyaallah i will be extra careful lepasni. tapi u know, shes a nice lady, really. sembahyang tak tinggal, and apa2 yg dia buat, she starts it with "bismillah". she helps us in tremendous ways too. kira bila die ade, byk yg die dah tolong mudahkan keje lah u know. and im very thankful of that. tapi tu lah. part menipu tu je yang i tak brape berkenan. i pon taktau kenape die nak tipu i. ckp je lah bende yg betol kan. kalau die salah, i boleh betolkan. jadik die tak buat lagi. hmm. ntah lah bintie.

Anonymous said...

ermmm.. pity on u..but ni lumrah kot.. i ngk bibik umah pun problem gak..menipu sana sini.. tapi bibik u menipu ngan u jer belum kronik... kat sini tipu sana tipu sini buat citer lagi.. huhuhu.. just be carefull i paham susah utk dapat bibik yg baik.

RieNa said...

nak bwk berbincang, takut dia berkecil hati.
nak tegur, kang dia bt apa2 kat aydein.

tp kalau nmpak dia syg aydein,jg aydein dgn baik wpun tanpa tiqah dpn mata dia, rasanya benda ni bleh bwk berbincang. ckp dgn dia baik2 yg tiqah x suka dia tipu wpun benda kecik2.tiqah takkan marah dia kaau dia terus terang, tp tiqah akan marah kalau dia menipu.

try tanya pendapat mkcik aziah tgk,apa kata dia?

Bluerainy said...

thara, u should pasang cctv kat umah, pas tu leh la perhatik gerak-geri kat dlm umah remotely.

princess J said...

thara, understand your dilemma. but maybe instead of telling her off, you can sit down with her and have a girl-to-girl heart talk =) put yourself in the shoes as her friend instead of employer-employee relation. maybe it'll help?

RuZaNNa said...

I wish i can help you, but i'm learning from you instead.. heheh.. but i do agree about the fact that if she takes a good care of your son, might as well close one eye about this tipu2 thing.. as u said, jaga aydein is her main task.. but if die start tipu sampai memudaratkan u and ur son or curik barang.. then u really need to tell her off..
A friend pernah advise that pakai maid ni kena close 1 eye sbb we can never expect perfection, they're humans too kan.. and my friend did pasang cctv at home.. so that kept her in peace la sbb boleh monitor the maid.. lagi lari la budget kita.. hehhhe

Thara said...

hawa :
hie hawa. yeah tu lah so far die tipu bende2 kecik je pasal tu bole tutup sebelah mata lagi. and yeah thanks for the advice. i wl b extra careful in the future. :)

kak riena :
tu lah mmg nampak die sayang aydein. die saba dgn aydein. tu yang buat tiqah pikir 2 3 kali juge kalau nak marah2 die bcoz kalau die decide nak balik ke ape, tak tentu bole dpt pengganti as patient as her kan. yeah tu lah tiqah rasa tiqah nanti akan ckp dgn dia elok2 lah. thanks for the advice kak riena. :)

ah dawn :
im thinking of it too! or what abt a webcam? that'll work too i think.

jay :
hey jay. yes i think the heart2heart talk with her will probably work. feedbacks gotten said that i should talk 2 her too but talk to her nicely. so yes i'll talk 2 her soon. wish me luck! and thanks for the advice jay :)

ruzanna :
hehe tu lah. nanti u update kitorang pulak how ure getting along with ur maid tau. i hope shes doing wonderfully over there. and yes im already thinking of the cctv or a webcam for that purpose. so there goes my budget for this month! haihs.

BabyBooned said...

hun, maid stories ni can get everyone started and go on and on. it'll never end. having had two maids myself (my own maids la, if tak count the maids my family has), i can tell u this one thing ... all of them lie. no kidding. none of them will be 100% truthful to u, although u'd like to believe otherwise. they lie to save their skins. memang pelik coz bukan semua majikan is the scolding type. my first maid dulu is like yours.. kerja dia ok, i liked her. but i'd catch her in lies every so often. it used to irritate the heck out of me. until i got the second maid who was TOTALLY hopeless. lagii lah teruk. i'd take my old one over that hopeless second one anytime. when the second one ran off i was so relieved that i decided there and then that i dont want to have another stay-in maid if possible. memang when we work we're at their mercy... i know, coz i used to work fulltime too. the only thing i can say is... be careful. as long as dia tak tipu benda benda besar... insyaallah, things could've been a lot worse. nauzubillah!

BabyBooned said...

ooh sorry. i forgot to suggest.. security cameras. its a great idea. most of my frens yg still working have hired security firms to put in those cameras. if ure interested i can ask around and recommend some companies :)

all the best!

Thara said...

babybooned :

first of all, u commenting here is such a pleasant surprise. thanks for dropping by my blog! :D as u might've noticed, ive been following ur blog quite closely too lately, and i cant wait for aydein to be as witty as gib! hehe. anyways ure right. mmg this maid story ni tak sudah2. tapi yg sakit hati tu, kita majikan dia, tapi kita pulak kene somewhat takut dgn dia bcoz the possibility that might arise should we ever go over "their" limit if u know what i mean. haihs. but one thing for sure, we're already on the lookout for cctv/webcam. hopefully we don't see anything funny we dont want to see when we get back from work lah. thanks for ur advice and again, thanks for dropping by my blog! :D

Syairani Norazlan said...

Kak Thara, I tengok dia pun macam muka innocent je bila kat rumah Opah. Aih, better beware dengan Indon² ni. Bukan boleh percaya sangat. Oh ya, my last maid kan, kuat mengaji semua, tapi kan, dia GILA!

Even my neighbours pun realize & tanya my mum, whether she's okay or not. Mana tak nya, tengah sidai baju pagi², tiba² boleh gelak macam apa je. Alone pula tu. Pelik. 1001 masalah Indon² ni.