Saturday, October 31, 2009

Aydein's 5-Month Birthday

A star fell down from heaven
And landed in our arms
With all of mommy's sweetness
And all of daddy's charm
Whose eyes sparkle like the stars?
Whose smile outshines the sun?
Whose skin is as soft
as the moon-glow?
Our precious little one!

Happy 5-month birthday, Aydein sweetheart!
Mama & papa love you more than the heart could allow. :)


Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Forgetful Forgetter

Hi, I am Thara and I am a forgetful person.

And because of that, I might be pregnant. Again. Haha. And there goes the whole pregnancy drama again. Sighssss.

I know I know, I've been taking this whole I-dont-want-to-get-pregnant-again thing a little overboard. And it seems that the more I try my mighty best to try to avoid it, the more it starts to backfire on me. But really. I am seriously tired of worrying over the matter each time "accident" happens, or when... this case happens. All the people around me kept telling me that I should be thankful if I do have another baby. Kalau dah memang rezeki, tak boleh nak di elak. I understand this very well, tapiiiiii ...

I also think Allah does not approve of my manner. Maybe that's why even though I have a daily-pill-reminder that will bleep at my screen at the appointed time to remind me of the pill, I still fail to take it - like today.

Urgh no one else to blame but me. Me me me.

I knew well right from the very beginning, that pill would not work very well with me because I am a very forgetful person. I wanted to take the implant method instead but my gynae discouraged me. She said the implant could possibly make me fat. I did not want to take the risk considering the figure that I already have now (sobs sobs), so I agreed to take the pills instead. I am planning to take the shot though, but only when I finish taking these pills.

But now that I have missed the pill (the pill must be taken every day at the exact time and is considered as missed if it is taken more than 3 hours late) by just 5 hours, I now need to take extra precaution, if you know what I mean. My husband is not going to be very happy about it but sighs. What to do. O husband, please forgive me.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Let's Blow Bubbles!

Aydein has acquired a new skill at 4 months plus which really gave me that pleasant surprise the first time he did it – blowing bubbles!

He does this quite a lot nowadays.
He does it when he's happy, bored, even when he's upset about something! :P

I cant wait for more sweet surprises from him! :)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

My Other Half & The IV Drip

SJMC (now known as SDHC - Sime Darby Health Care) is practically my second home since I was 7 months pregnant. I had my monthly maternity checkup there, I delivered my baby there, and I still go there every month for Aydein's monthly checkup. Haish. Kaya SJMC dengan duit aku. :P

Last week's visit to SJMC however, was not very pleasant. It was the second time in 2 months that Aien, my other half, got admitted to a hospital for the same heath problem – the dreadful DKA. DKA which stands for diabetic ketoacidosis, is really one of the life-threatening illnesses.

I remember the first time it happened. It was last Ramadhan. He complained of feeling nauseated and could not accept anything into his tummy during breakfast. He took a bite of bread, he vomited. He drank a few gulps of water, he vomited. Suspecting it was just gastric, I brought him to a nearby clinic. Only then that we realized it was his sugar that was the culprit. It was 18! (In case you don't already know, normal sugar level in a normal individual is about 4 – 7)

Even after taking the insulin like he always does, the vomiting would not stop. In fact, it became even worse. He began to vomit excessively. I was beginning to get worried so I called my sister doctor. She suspected almost immediately that it was DKA and told me to admit Aien to the hospital asap or he could collapse. Aien was admitted to HDU (High Dependency Unit) in Sunway Medical Centre.

Last week, it all happened again when Aien missed his night (insulin) shot. I witnessed the same thing happening just 2 months back – the nausea, the loss of appetite, the vomiting and the weakening of the body. Without hesitating this time, I admitted him to SJMC.

Just as before, his ketone was 4+ and his blood was infected and acidic. It was very traumatizing for him to go through the dreadful experience of the needles pricking through his skins once again, so I stayed back to spend the night in the hospital with him just to boost his spirit. He was treated with loads of IV drip that kept him hydrated and antibiotic to fight off the infection.

And thanks to all the well wishes and prayers from friends and families,

Aien got discharged after 3 days of thorough monitoring from the healthcare professionals. Thanks all again for all your support. :)

Monday, October 19, 2009

My First Two White Caps!

Dear Diary,

Remember I told you in my previous entry about my parents suspecting that I was teething?
"But lately I have been very grumpy. I have been drooling quite a lot too. I heard mama and papa said they saw something white at the sides of my gum last few days, so it may be that I am teething. Mama finds it quite amusing that I'm teething at 3 months. But it seems that it's quite normal, so I'm looking forward to biting you, and you, and you in a few months time! Teehee."
It seems that they were right. I was teething! In fact, I can now see two gleaming pearly white teeth peeking through my gum! Look!

click on picture for larger view

That explains my heavy drooling, fussiness and sleep problem! Sighs.

Poor mama. She hasn't been able to sleep well at night these past couple of weeks. Even when it's not night time and it's just the two of us spending quality time together, I would still fuss for something to suck on. I didn't like the teether she bought me, and she wouldn't allow me to suck on my fingers, so she'd have to settle by pacifying me the good ol' way which I love the most – her tee to the teetee. If you know what I mean :D

Oh but here's the good news! Mama read that if a baby is an early developer, one may see the baby's first white cap as early as 3 months! That means I must be one of those early developers, so that's something for mama to be proud of eh! :D

Love, Aydein.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Dear Aunt Flow

Dear Aunt Flow,

The last time I saw you, it was last year, on the 30/08/08, just about a month after I got married. There was no sight of you anymore after that for about 9 months at least, as my body prepared itself to carry the beautiful boy I have safely delivered about 4 months ago, alhamdulillah.

2 months after my delivery, there was still no sight of you. But just as soon as I got back to work, I thought I saw you. It was on the 07/08/09. (Nice date, eh?) But you were not your usual self, though. You were very light, and you came to visit me for just a few days. This made me rather confused. I was not sure whether it was really you, or one of those things I got after my delivery. Anyhow, my cousin confirmed your return and explained to me that you were "spotting", but I am still not sure if what I saw was you, though.

And then, one fateful night, I got into an accident. And if it was really you that I saw last month, you were supposed to visit me again on the 07/09/09. But you did not show up. I started to panic. If what I saw was really you, then it could be that I got pregnant – again. I took a pregnancy test to see if I was pregnant again after 3 days you were supposed to due, but the test came out negative. I was relieved. But since there was still no sign of you even after about 2 months, the anxiety started creeping back up again, and I ended up taking more tests, one of it being scanned by my gynae in SJMC (now known as SDHC).

She confirmed that you were just late and that it could be because I am still breastfeeding. She prescribed some pills to "induce" you, as well as some pills to avoid me from getting pregnant again and said that I should expect you in about a week. But the one-week mark has passed, but I still don't see any sign of you.

What is happening? Was my gynae right when she told me I was not pregnant? Am I really NOT PREGNANT?

And then today, after more than 2 months, I finally saw you. And for the first time in my life, I actually smiled when I saw you! Haha. You were very late, Aunt Flow, and you made me worried sick! I know you know that I love surprises, but please Aunt Flow, no more of this kind of surprise okay. Sakit jantung I lah.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Pregnant Again?

It's been 2 months now since my Aunt Flow last visited me that I cant help to wonder.. could it be that I am pregnant again?

I shudder at the thought of it.

I can still remember that fateful night. As we all know, accident happens. And when it happened, I remember being quite frantic about it. I remember even blaming myself for not going for any forms of contraception methods right after my delivery. Not that I dont want another baby, but the timing is just not right. I still haven’t had enough of Aydein and can you imagine how it will be like for me to have another baby at this time? It will be too complicated considering all things.

Yes, many have done it, but I do not want to be one of the "many's". I want to pamper Aydein and give him my undivided attention, love and care until he is at least 2. Or 3. It depends.

I read that it is possible to avoid pregnancy after unprotected intercourse by taking the ECP (Emergency Contraceptive Pill) pills which is usually used in case like this. But since I found out from my gynae that taking the pill would be harmful to my breastfed baby, I decided not to take it, and left everything into His hands.

Anyway. Anxious to know the result, I took a pregnancy test 3 days after my period was supposed to due. It was negative. My sister who is a doctor told me that it is possible that the test was taken a little too early for my hormones to show and that I should repeat the test in a week's time. I did, and I still tested negative. I tested again for the third time right after Raya, and it was still negative although there was still no sign of my Aunt Flow coming!

I was getting even more anxious, and confused. But after 3 negatives, Aien and I thought it's best that we see my gynae, and get it confirmed with a scan. So we went to SJMC, took another urine test and a detailed scan in my tummy, and guess what!

see that little "negative (-)" sign?

I'm officially not pregnant! Alhamdulillah. :)
I learnt my lesson though, and asked the doctor to prescribe me some contraceptive pills right there and then. Hehe.

Anyway, remember my previous entry about me being unable to consume the Milkmaid Tea just yet? It's because I read that it is not safe for pregnant mummies. I did not want to take any chances, so I had to put the tea aside until I get my pregnancy result confirmed.

And now that it is confirmed (insyaallah), I will start gulping them down every single day starting today! I hope it helps, so wish me luck! ;)

Thursday, October 1, 2009

The Dilemmas of a Working Mama

It has been 2 months now since I returned to work after the 2 months confinement period. Time sweeps by me really fast, and before I knew it, Aydein just turned 4 months young.

During the last couple of weeks, I have encountered a few dilemmas that I think, are quite common for working mummies.

Breastfeeding and breastmilk

I have not been producing much milk lately. I do not know whether it's genetic or lack of stimulation, but I just don't produce as much milk as before. I do think it's the gene (although my gynae doesn't think so) because my mum, my aunties, my opah, all had the same problem. Poor Aydein, he gets restless when latching on me sometimes. I read that the only way to boost one's milk production is to have the baby latch on you for as much as possible because the less you breastfeed your baby, the less milk you make. But with me being away for 9 hours everyday, it's almost impossible. I understand that I need to pump for at least every 2 hours at work in order to encourage the milk production, but goodness, I just can't find the time with the heaps of work waiting to be done! In the end, I will have to settle with only one pump session everyday and the most I can get out of me is 4ozs, and if I'm lucky, 5ozs everyday. Well, better something than nothing, eh?

I have also tried so many traditional tips to begin with. The different types of leafy veges, the longan, the lobak putih, you name it. I now even drink gallons of water everyday to boost my milk supply, but to no avail. I have received the Milkmaid Tea ordered from even, as suggested by Kak Riena, but well, I am still waiting for the right time to try that product out for a reason I can't reveal here – not yet.

Quality Time

Ever since I returned to work, I can't help but to envy those stay-at-home mums who have ample of time to spend with their babies and getting to see them grow everyday. You see, my official working hours are from 9.30am – 6.30pm. But since I requested not to work on Saturday shifts, my working hours are from 9.30am – 7.30pm everyday. Therefore by the time I reach home, it will be around 8.00pm, and by the time I finished dinner, it will be around 8.30pm. I will spend the precious few hours with Aydein, and at 10pm (11pm at most), I will put him down to sleep. He will wake up a few times for feeds, go back to sleep, and will be wide awake at about 8.30am the next morning. I will then get myself prepared for work again, so exactly how many hours do I get to spend with my baby?

The Maid

The great thing about having a maid is that it makes your life a whole lot easier. However, when you are a working mum and your mum-duty is taken over by the maid most of the day and you only come back at night to resume your mum-duty, it doesn't seem very "great" anymore. I quote one example when I had a very bad migraine+gastric one night that I had to ask for the maid to change Aydein's diaper because I had to lie down and rest. I watched as she changed Aydein to a fresh new diaper while playing with him. And to my surprise, I heard my baby's first laugh! I could not explain my feelings, but I know it was a mixture of many different feelings – happy, surprised, excited,... jealous. – my baby's first laugh and it was not me who made him laugh! I understood from my maid that it was not actually the first time he laughed and my heart actually sank even lower. What else was I missing while I was away?

They won't be babies forever – this phrase keeps going in my head over and over, but I don't have much choice now, do I? It's every working mum's dilemma, and all working mums go through this so like it or not, I will have to face it. My employer has been kind and wonderful enough to me all this while, and I can't complain.

However this is my sacrifice for Aydein's well being in the future, so forgive me baby, mama has to do this for you to have a comfortable life in the future. Mama and papa both have big plans for you when you grow up, so mama needs you to know how much we love you and how we want nothing but the best for you. Aydein sweetheart, mama misses you already.