This is not good. Not good at all.
If a few weeks back I was gloating with happiness for getting a good 5oz of milk (which is, btw, is very rare for me) to bring home for Aydein, unfortunately that is no more the case nowadays.
Since I came back to work after 2 months of maternity leave, I made sure that I pump once at work every day, and I could basically get 3 - 4oz per session. And now, it's tough to even get 2oz at 4pm, my normal pumping time. Believe it or not, lately, I can only get 1oz out of me when I pump. So everyday, I would go back and add the expressed milk to the milk expressed before, and feed Aydein only when the accumulated expressed milk reaches at least 3 - 4oz.
Is it because I've been trying to eat less to lose weight? I don't know.
Is it because lack of stimulation? I don't know.
My cousin offered to bring me to see this makcik urut that she claims to be good at massaging the uknowwhats, because her uknowwhats were producing milk like pipes after she saw her. But she saw that makcik when she was still in confinement period so that's understandable. As for me, it's been more than 7 months. And Aydein has started with formula, hence the less stimulation. Should I still give it a try?
Poor Aydein, mama's milk is slowly and surely diminishing. And it also makes me sad that Aydein would be fed with more formula than breastmilk now. :(
I have not given up, though. I am still breastfeeding Aydein with whatever milk I still have and will still pump everyday to get the little 1 oz of milk everyday. But it makes me all teary at the thought that Aydein might stop latching on me one day, before he reaches 2 years of age. Sighs.
PS : I did manage to shed off 1 kg from the dieting though. But if this is the cost I have to pay to get back in shape, not sure if I should continue doing it. . . :(
Showing posts with label emo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emo. Show all posts
Friday, January 22, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
The Last Straw
I've tried to be discreet, so many times. I've tried containing my anger and kept it to myself. But what happened a few weeks back was more than I could take.
She lied to me again.
You see, I have told her not to feed Aydein straight from the containers, and that each time, she should scoop half of the dish from the containers into the feeding bowl. If the Aydein wants more, she can always scoop more dish using a different spoon into the feeding bowl. Never to scoop the entire dish into the feeding bowl, because if Aydein does not finish it, it would all go down the drain as we will have introduced bacteria from Aydein’s mouth into the leftover food.
But when I caught her cheating and saying that she only scooped half of the dish into the feeding bowl when the container which was initially FULL was already EMPTY, that was the final blow. Enough is enough. It was that day or never.
So I called her into a room, just the 2 of us. I spoke to her nicely but firmly. I pointed out her mistakes one by one. I recalled ALL the lies she fed me which I pretended not to know and kept quiet, out of respect to her. There were times when she (as expected) tried to deny and twist the story, which I managed to counter-back intelligently, it even surprised myself.
I told her that I liked her; that she's done great job so far and that I knew she loved Aydein. But this could not continue. If she was going to stay with me for another 2 years, I would have to trust her. We needed to feel easy about each other in order to live under the same roof. But if she kept being this way, I didn’t think it was possible. I even asked her the reason for her change in behavior because she was not like this before.
She remained quiet.
I continued again (because I couldn't seem to stop!) and repeated that this could not continue. She has to stop with the lies. And if she did anything wrong, anything at all, she needed to confess the truth and tell me. I reassured her that I will neverbe mad at her as long as she tells me the truth. In fact, I asked her, "The whole 5 months you've been working with me, have I ever scolded you once? Have I ever raised my voice at you once?" She said no. I continued "Yes, because it's not my style to scold anyone unless I caught them lying. I just can’t stand liars,"
Just in case there was something wrong with US, I asked to confirm with her if there was anything that she was not happy about, living with us. Was the food provided enough? Was the workload too much for her? Was she happy working with us?
She said alhamdulillah, she was more than happy to work with us.
So I went on. I said, "I've been good to you, but at the same time, I need your cooperation too. I'm not asking much, I just need you to always be honest with me. Even if you make mistakes, just let me know, I won't be mad at you. After all, we're just humans. We’re not perfect. We're bound to make mistakes,"
That's when I saw tears welled up in her eyes, and she cried. She repeatedly asked for forgiveness from me.
So I told her, "It's okay. I'm not even mad at you. We're all humans, bik. Like I said, we're bound to make mistakes. Just remember what I said, and everything will be fine,"
And no, we did not hug after that. :P But we said our peace to each other and I left the room, feeling strangely like a superwoman. Haha. No lah. Honestly, it felt good to let it all out. It felt so much better once you pour your heart out and say what you had to say, you know?
And well, it's been 2 weeks now from the last episode and so far, she's been keeping to her words. And hopefully, just hopefully, she will turn a new leaf and stay that way forever. :)
She lied to me again.
You see, I have told her not to feed Aydein straight from the containers, and that each time, she should scoop half of the dish from the containers into the feeding bowl. If the Aydein wants more, she can always scoop more dish using a different spoon into the feeding bowl. Never to scoop the entire dish into the feeding bowl, because if Aydein does not finish it, it would all go down the drain as we will have introduced bacteria from Aydein’s mouth into the leftover food.
But when I caught her cheating and saying that she only scooped half of the dish into the feeding bowl when the container which was initially FULL was already EMPTY, that was the final blow. Enough is enough. It was that day or never.
So I called her into a room, just the 2 of us. I spoke to her nicely but firmly. I pointed out her mistakes one by one. I recalled ALL the lies she fed me which I pretended not to know and kept quiet, out of respect to her. There were times when she (as expected) tried to deny and twist the story, which I managed to counter-back intelligently, it even surprised myself.
I told her that I liked her; that she's done great job so far and that I knew she loved Aydein. But this could not continue. If she was going to stay with me for another 2 years, I would have to trust her. We needed to feel easy about each other in order to live under the same roof. But if she kept being this way, I didn’t think it was possible. I even asked her the reason for her change in behavior because she was not like this before.
She remained quiet.
I continued again (because I couldn't seem to stop!) and repeated that this could not continue. She has to stop with the lies. And if she did anything wrong, anything at all, she needed to confess the truth and tell me. I reassured her that I will neverbe mad at her as long as she tells me the truth. In fact, I asked her, "The whole 5 months you've been working with me, have I ever scolded you once? Have I ever raised my voice at you once?" She said no. I continued "Yes, because it's not my style to scold anyone unless I caught them lying. I just can’t stand liars,"
Just in case there was something wrong with US, I asked to confirm with her if there was anything that she was not happy about, living with us. Was the food provided enough? Was the workload too much for her? Was she happy working with us?
She said alhamdulillah, she was more than happy to work with us.
So I went on. I said, "I've been good to you, but at the same time, I need your cooperation too. I'm not asking much, I just need you to always be honest with me. Even if you make mistakes, just let me know, I won't be mad at you. After all, we're just humans. We’re not perfect. We're bound to make mistakes,"
That's when I saw tears welled up in her eyes, and she cried. She repeatedly asked for forgiveness from me.
So I told her, "It's okay. I'm not even mad at you. We're all humans, bik. Like I said, we're bound to make mistakes. Just remember what I said, and everything will be fine,"
And no, we did not hug after that. :P But we said our peace to each other and I left the room, feeling strangely like a superwoman. Haha. No lah. Honestly, it felt good to let it all out. It felt so much better once you pour your heart out and say what you had to say, you know?
And well, it's been 2 weeks now from the last episode and so far, she's been keeping to her words. And hopefully, just hopefully, she will turn a new leaf and stay that way forever. :)
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Do I Tell Her Off? Or Do I Not?
She's been our helper 2 weeks before I returned to work. I can still remember the first day I met her. She was in her green shirt, and black tudung, looking rather timid, like a scared kitten lost in the crowd.
Truth be told, I was nervous to meet her then too. I was nervous at the thought of some stranger looking after my son while I am away. However pushing all the negative thoughts aside, I put my faith in her and left everything in Allah's hands to care for the rest.
But she's been a good maid so far. So far, until I caught her lying to me – for a few times to be exact.
Case #1
Since she needs to sleep with the light on, I have a few times informed her to switch the pendaflour light off before she goes to sleep and use the dim light I have provided her instead to save the electricity.
Me : Bik? Kamu sudah tidur? (the sound of bed creaking – she was on the bed, getting up)
Bibik : (opened the door with that just-got-up-from-sleep look on her face) Belum buk. Lagi menggosok (ironing).
Me : (playing dumb) Oh. Kamu jangan lupa tutup lampu sblm kamu tidur ya. Pasang lampu tidur yang itu. (pointing towards the bedside lamp)
Bibik : Ya buk. Saya lagi menggosok. Belum tidur.
Right.
Case #2
The red spinach which soup is supposed to turn red, turned to black.
Me : Bik, kenape kuahnya macam ni bik?
Bibik : Ya, saya tambahkan sos tiram dikit tadi. Kurang ya?
Me : Eh tak, bik. Tak payah tambah tiram. Cuma air dan garam je.
Bibik : Oh enggak, saya belum masukkan tiramnya. Bayamnya memang merah gelap begini.
Me : Eh bik, tadikan kamu cakap kamu masukkan tiram?
Bibik : Enggak belum. Saya cuma pikir mau masukkan dikit, tapi belum lagi. Tunggu ibuk rasa dulu.
Me : (playing dumb) Hmm. Takpelah. Lain kali kalau masak bayam merah, jangan letak tiram ye bik.
Bibik : Enggak, enggak ada tiram.
Right.
Case #3
I came back from work, and saw a dark smudge on Aydein's shirt.
Me : Bik, ni ape ni eh? (pointing to the smudge at Aydein's shirt and sniffed it. It smelt like chocolate.)
Bibik : (facial expression changed) Eh, apa ya? Mungkin tiram buat masakan tadi.
Me : Tiram? (Wow, oyster that smells like chocolate! This is new; I should tell CNN!) (playing dumb) Hmm. Takpelah. Lain kali kamu cuci tangan dulu sebelum pegang Aydein ye bik.
Case #4
This happened just yesterday. Aydein poo-pooed while I was having dinner so I asked my maid to help clean him. When she returned with Aydein, he was in a new bodysuit.
Me : Eh bik, kenape kamu tukar baju Aydein? (Aydein just had his bath and the bodysuit he had on him earlier was still fresh and new)
Bibik : (facial expression changed) Itu di belakang bajunya ada poo-poonya.
Me : Oh ye ke. Tapi tadi lepas dia poo-poo, saya tengok bajunya bersih je lagi.
Bibik : Enggak lah. Ada poo-poonya. Ya ibuk boleh pergi tengok sendiri lah.
Me : (hmm? why is she getting defensive on me?) (playing dumb) Hmm. Takpelah.
(Later that night, I went down to get some drink and I saw Aydein's shirt "that's got poo-poo on it" in the dirty clothes' basket. I lifted it up, inspected it, and sure enough, it was spotless clean. It even smelt good of the clothes' softener.
And those were the cases that I can recall for now. Of course there are more, but if I were to list them all here, you will never hear the end of it. Did you know, though, why I keep myself quiet for most of the time and even though I knew she was lying to my face, I still play dumb?
Because I know I am at her mercy. Because if she wants to let go of her frustration while I am away, she might lash it out to my only baby, as innocent as he may be.
But don't get me wrong, she still is a good maid and I do like her. She takes very good care of Aydein and is very patient with him (which is the most important thing). She also keeps the house clean, does the laundry & the dishes, and gets up early too (after being told of course). She just has problems being honest with me. Is she afraid of me? I don't know. Is she afraid of losing her job should she reveal the truth to me? I don't know. What I know is, I have twice told her before, that she could just be frank with me if she did anything wrong and that I would not be mad at her. (And I really wouldn't. I just need to hear the truth, that's all.) But for some reasons that I dont know, she still insists of telling me lies and that irks the heck out of me.
But thinking of all the good things she has done for us, I have tried to be discreet, hold myself back and swallowed all the lies she fed me without questioning her back. And they were just small matters anyway, so I figured I could just close one eye and let her get away. But then it hit me.
How long do I need to play dumb and let her make a fool of me? A part of me is dying to let her taste a piece of my mind – that I knew she's been lying to me all these while and that she should stop doing that and that she should just be frank with me and I will be much happier that way. But the other part of me is asking me to hold myself back, continue to stay quiet and be patient for Aydein’s sake. But for how long?
Please anyone, please tell me what to do, because honestly, I am already at my wits' end!
Truth be told, I was nervous to meet her then too. I was nervous at the thought of some stranger looking after my son while I am away. However pushing all the negative thoughts aside, I put my faith in her and left everything in Allah's hands to care for the rest.
But she's been a good maid so far. So far, until I caught her lying to me – for a few times to be exact.
Case #1
Since she needs to sleep with the light on, I have a few times informed her to switch the pendaflour light off before she goes to sleep and use the dim light I have provided her instead to save the electricity.
Me : Bik? Kamu sudah tidur? (the sound of bed creaking – she was on the bed, getting up)
Bibik : (opened the door with that just-got-up-from-sleep look on her face) Belum buk. Lagi menggosok (ironing).
Me : (playing dumb) Oh. Kamu jangan lupa tutup lampu sblm kamu tidur ya. Pasang lampu tidur yang itu. (pointing towards the bedside lamp)
Bibik : Ya buk. Saya lagi menggosok. Belum tidur.
Right.
Case #2
The red spinach which soup is supposed to turn red, turned to black.
Me : Bik, kenape kuahnya macam ni bik?
Bibik : Ya, saya tambahkan sos tiram dikit tadi. Kurang ya?
Me : Eh tak, bik. Tak payah tambah tiram. Cuma air dan garam je.
Bibik : Oh enggak, saya belum masukkan tiramnya. Bayamnya memang merah gelap begini.
Me : Eh bik, tadikan kamu cakap kamu masukkan tiram?
Bibik : Enggak belum. Saya cuma pikir mau masukkan dikit, tapi belum lagi. Tunggu ibuk rasa dulu.
Me : (playing dumb) Hmm. Takpelah. Lain kali kalau masak bayam merah, jangan letak tiram ye bik.
Bibik : Enggak, enggak ada tiram.
Right.
Case #3
I came back from work, and saw a dark smudge on Aydein's shirt.
Me : Bik, ni ape ni eh? (pointing to the smudge at Aydein's shirt and sniffed it. It smelt like chocolate.)
Bibik : (facial expression changed) Eh, apa ya? Mungkin tiram buat masakan tadi.
Me : Tiram? (Wow, oyster that smells like chocolate! This is new; I should tell CNN!) (playing dumb) Hmm. Takpelah. Lain kali kamu cuci tangan dulu sebelum pegang Aydein ye bik.
Case #4
This happened just yesterday. Aydein poo-pooed while I was having dinner so I asked my maid to help clean him. When she returned with Aydein, he was in a new bodysuit.
Me : Eh bik, kenape kamu tukar baju Aydein? (Aydein just had his bath and the bodysuit he had on him earlier was still fresh and new)
Bibik : (facial expression changed) Itu di belakang bajunya ada poo-poonya.
Me : Oh ye ke. Tapi tadi lepas dia poo-poo, saya tengok bajunya bersih je lagi.
Bibik : Enggak lah. Ada poo-poonya. Ya ibuk boleh pergi tengok sendiri lah.
Me : (hmm? why is she getting defensive on me?) (playing dumb) Hmm. Takpelah.
(Later that night, I went down to get some drink and I saw Aydein's shirt "that's got poo-poo on it" in the dirty clothes' basket. I lifted it up, inspected it, and sure enough, it was spotless clean. It even smelt good of the clothes' softener.
And those were the cases that I can recall for now. Of course there are more, but if I were to list them all here, you will never hear the end of it. Did you know, though, why I keep myself quiet for most of the time and even though I knew she was lying to my face, I still play dumb?
Because I know I am at her mercy. Because if she wants to let go of her frustration while I am away, she might lash it out to my only baby, as innocent as he may be.
But don't get me wrong, she still is a good maid and I do like her. She takes very good care of Aydein and is very patient with him (which is the most important thing). She also keeps the house clean, does the laundry & the dishes, and gets up early too (after being told of course). She just has problems being honest with me. Is she afraid of me? I don't know. Is she afraid of losing her job should she reveal the truth to me? I don't know. What I know is, I have twice told her before, that she could just be frank with me if she did anything wrong and that I would not be mad at her. (And I really wouldn't. I just need to hear the truth, that's all.) But for some reasons that I dont know, she still insists of telling me lies and that irks the heck out of me.
But thinking of all the good things she has done for us, I have tried to be discreet, hold myself back and swallowed all the lies she fed me without questioning her back. And they were just small matters anyway, so I figured I could just close one eye and let her get away. But then it hit me.
How long do I need to play dumb and let her make a fool of me? A part of me is dying to let her taste a piece of my mind – that I knew she's been lying to me all these while and that she should stop doing that and that she should just be frank with me and I will be much happier that way. But the other part of me is asking me to hold myself back, continue to stay quiet and be patient for Aydein’s sake. But for how long?
Please anyone, please tell me what to do, because honestly, I am already at my wits' end!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
The Forgetful Forgetter
Hi, I am Thara and I am a forgetful person.
And because of that, I might be pregnant. Again. Haha. And there goes the whole pregnancy drama again. Sighssss.
I know I know, I've been taking this whole I-dont-want-to-get-pregnant-again thing a little overboard. And it seems that the more I try my mighty best to try to avoid it, the more it starts to backfire on me. But really. I am seriously tired of worrying over the matter each time "accident" happens, or when... this case happens. All the people around me kept telling me that I should be thankful if I do have another baby. Kalau dah memang rezeki, tak boleh nak di elak. I understand this very well, tapiiiiii ...
I also think Allah does not approve of my manner. Maybe that's why even though I have a daily-pill-reminder that will bleep at my screen at the appointed time to remind me of the pill, I still fail to take it - like today.
Urgh no one else to blame but me. Me me me.
I knew well right from the very beginning, that pill would not work very well with me because I am a very forgetful person. I wanted to take the implant method instead but my gynae discouraged me. She said the implant could possibly make me fat. I did not want to take the risk considering the figure that I already have now (sobs sobs), so I agreed to take the pills instead. I am planning to take the shot though, but only when I finish taking these pills.
But now that I have missed the pill (the pill must be taken every day at the exact time and is considered as missed if it is taken more than 3 hours late) by just 5 hours, I now need to take extra precaution, if you know what I mean. My husband is not going to be very happy about it but sighs. What to do. O husband, please forgive me.
And because of that, I might be pregnant. Again. Haha. And there goes the whole pregnancy drama again. Sighssss.
I know I know, I've been taking this whole I-dont-want-to-get-pregnant-again thing a little overboard. And it seems that the more I try my mighty best to try to avoid it, the more it starts to backfire on me. But really. I am seriously tired of worrying over the matter each time "accident" happens, or when... this case happens. All the people around me kept telling me that I should be thankful if I do have another baby. Kalau dah memang rezeki, tak boleh nak di elak. I understand this very well, tapiiiiii ...
I also think Allah does not approve of my manner. Maybe that's why even though I have a daily-pill-reminder that will bleep at my screen at the appointed time to remind me of the pill, I still fail to take it - like today.
Urgh no one else to blame but me. Me me me.
I knew well right from the very beginning, that pill would not work very well with me because I am a very forgetful person. I wanted to take the implant method instead but my gynae discouraged me. She said the implant could possibly make me fat. I did not want to take the risk considering the figure that I already have now (sobs sobs), so I agreed to take the pills instead. I am planning to take the shot though, but only when I finish taking these pills.
But now that I have missed the pill (the pill must be taken every day at the exact time and is considered as missed if it is taken more than 3 hours late) by just 5 hours, I now need to take extra precaution, if you know what I mean. My husband is not going to be very happy about it but sighs. What to do. O husband, please forgive me.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
The Dilemmas of a Working Mama
It has been 2 months now since I returned to work after the 2 months confinement period. Time sweeps by me really fast, and before I knew it, Aydein just turned 4 months young.
During the last couple of weeks, I have encountered a few dilemmas that I think, are quite common for working mummies.
Breastfeeding and breastmilk
I have not been producing much milk lately. I do not know whether it's genetic or lack of stimulation, but I just don't produce as much milk as before. I do think it's the gene (although my gynae doesn't think so) because my mum, my aunties, my opah, all had the same problem. Poor Aydein, he gets restless when latching on me sometimes. I read that the only way to boost one's milk production is to have the baby latch on you for as much as possible because the less you breastfeed your baby, the less milk you make. But with me being away for 9 hours everyday, it's almost impossible. I understand that I need to pump for at least every 2 hours at work in order to encourage the milk production, but goodness, I just can't find the time with the heaps of work waiting to be done! In the end, I will have to settle with only one pump session everyday and the most I can get out of me is 4ozs, and if I'm lucky, 5ozs everyday. Well, better something than nothing, eh?
I have also tried so many traditional tips to begin with. The different types of leafy veges, the longan, the lobak putih, you name it. I now even drink gallons of water everyday to boost my milk supply, but to no avail. I have received the Milkmaid Tea ordered from momslittleone.com even, as suggested by Kak Riena, but well, I am still waiting for the right time to try that product out for a reason I can't reveal here – not yet.
Quality Time
Ever since I returned to work, I can't help but to envy those stay-at-home mums who have ample of time to spend with their babies and getting to see them grow everyday. You see, my official working hours are from 9.30am – 6.30pm. But since I requested not to work on Saturday shifts, my working hours are from 9.30am – 7.30pm everyday. Therefore by the time I reach home, it will be around 8.00pm, and by the time I finished dinner, it will be around 8.30pm. I will spend the precious few hours with Aydein, and at 10pm (11pm at most), I will put him down to sleep. He will wake up a few times for feeds, go back to sleep, and will be wide awake at about 8.30am the next morning. I will then get myself prepared for work again, so exactly how many hours do I get to spend with my baby?
The Maid
The great thing about having a maid is that it makes your life a whole lot easier. However, when you are a working mum and your mum-duty is taken over by the maid most of the day and you only come back at night to resume your mum-duty, it doesn't seem very "great" anymore. I quote one example when I had a very bad migraine+gastric one night that I had to ask for the maid to change Aydein's diaper because I had to lie down and rest. I watched as she changed Aydein to a fresh new diaper while playing with him. And to my surprise, I heard my baby's first laugh! I could not explain my feelings, but I know it was a mixture of many different feelings – happy, surprised, excited,... jealous. – my baby's first laugh and it was not me who made him laugh! I understood from my maid that it was not actually the first time he laughed and my heart actually sank even lower. What else was I missing while I was away?
They won't be babies forever – this phrase keeps going in my head over and over, but I don't have much choice now, do I? It's every working mum's dilemma, and all working mums go through this so like it or not, I will have to face it. My employer has been kind and wonderful enough to me all this while, and I can't complain.
However this is my sacrifice for Aydein's well being in the future, so forgive me baby, mama has to do this for you to have a comfortable life in the future. Mama and papa both have big plans for you when you grow up, so mama needs you to know how much we love you and how we want nothing but the best for you. Aydein sweetheart, mama misses you already.
During the last couple of weeks, I have encountered a few dilemmas that I think, are quite common for working mummies.
Breastfeeding and breastmilk
I have not been producing much milk lately. I do not know whether it's genetic or lack of stimulation, but I just don't produce as much milk as before. I do think it's the gene (although my gynae doesn't think so) because my mum, my aunties, my opah, all had the same problem. Poor Aydein, he gets restless when latching on me sometimes. I read that the only way to boost one's milk production is to have the baby latch on you for as much as possible because the less you breastfeed your baby, the less milk you make. But with me being away for 9 hours everyday, it's almost impossible. I understand that I need to pump for at least every 2 hours at work in order to encourage the milk production, but goodness, I just can't find the time with the heaps of work waiting to be done! In the end, I will have to settle with only one pump session everyday and the most I can get out of me is 4ozs, and if I'm lucky, 5ozs everyday. Well, better something than nothing, eh?
I have also tried so many traditional tips to begin with. The different types of leafy veges, the longan, the lobak putih, you name it. I now even drink gallons of water everyday to boost my milk supply, but to no avail. I have received the Milkmaid Tea ordered from momslittleone.com even, as suggested by Kak Riena, but well, I am still waiting for the right time to try that product out for a reason I can't reveal here – not yet.
Quality Time
Ever since I returned to work, I can't help but to envy those stay-at-home mums who have ample of time to spend with their babies and getting to see them grow everyday. You see, my official working hours are from 9.30am – 6.30pm. But since I requested not to work on Saturday shifts, my working hours are from 9.30am – 7.30pm everyday. Therefore by the time I reach home, it will be around 8.00pm, and by the time I finished dinner, it will be around 8.30pm. I will spend the precious few hours with Aydein, and at 10pm (11pm at most), I will put him down to sleep. He will wake up a few times for feeds, go back to sleep, and will be wide awake at about 8.30am the next morning. I will then get myself prepared for work again, so exactly how many hours do I get to spend with my baby?
The Maid
The great thing about having a maid is that it makes your life a whole lot easier. However, when you are a working mum and your mum-duty is taken over by the maid most of the day and you only come back at night to resume your mum-duty, it doesn't seem very "great" anymore. I quote one example when I had a very bad migraine+gastric one night that I had to ask for the maid to change Aydein's diaper because I had to lie down and rest. I watched as she changed Aydein to a fresh new diaper while playing with him. And to my surprise, I heard my baby's first laugh! I could not explain my feelings, but I know it was a mixture of many different feelings – happy, surprised, excited,... jealous. – my baby's first laugh and it was not me who made him laugh! I understood from my maid that it was not actually the first time he laughed and my heart actually sank even lower. What else was I missing while I was away?
They won't be babies forever – this phrase keeps going in my head over and over, but I don't have much choice now, do I? It's every working mum's dilemma, and all working mums go through this so like it or not, I will have to face it. My employer has been kind and wonderful enough to me all this while, and I can't complain.
However this is my sacrifice for Aydein's well being in the future, so forgive me baby, mama has to do this for you to have a comfortable life in the future. Mama and papa both have big plans for you when you grow up, so mama needs you to know how much we love you and how we want nothing but the best for you. Aydein sweetheart, mama misses you already.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Sick Poser on the Loose!
Okay. I know I’m supposed to write about my spanking new house this time around, but I can’t help it. I have got one interesting news to share with kamu semua.
Get this. I found another sick poser trying to be. . . me! Urgh. Wont this ever going to stop? Masa sekolah rendah ada. Masa sekolah menengah ada. Masa dkt U (hmm lemme think. ok, takde. because MMU people are cool and wont do immature things like that haha!). Tapi baru2 ni, thanks to cik syikin, one of my best sidekicks, who informed me about this website which really surprised the heck out of me! Here’s the snapshot of it. (Click on picture to enlarge)
This psycho actually used “miss aienthara” as username and well, even though there aren’t any pictures of me (THANK GOD!), or aien in there, but, there are pictures of my nephews and nieces taken during last raya. But the last time I checked, that pic was already removed. Tapi gamba my brother-in-law’s car still ada lagi. I mean, this person must really know our family members priddy damn well to steal these pictures and put it up on his/her website kan! Haihs.
The thing that disgusts me is, the way he/she writes! SANGAT DISGUSTING ok. The words written. The topics discussed. The words used. Urgh. Mcm org takde life.
I mean, please. Get your own freakin identity lah ok. Don’t go prancing around pretending someone that you’re not. Question is, should I write to this psycho and ask for clarification or not? Hmm.
God I hate copycows.
Get this. I found another sick poser trying to be. . . me! Urgh. Wont this ever going to stop? Masa sekolah rendah ada. Masa sekolah menengah ada. Masa dkt U (hmm lemme think. ok, takde. because MMU people are cool and wont do immature things like that haha!). Tapi baru2 ni, thanks to cik syikin, one of my best sidekicks, who informed me about this website which really surprised the heck out of me! Here’s the snapshot of it. (Click on picture to enlarge)
This psycho actually used “miss aienthara” as username and well, even though there aren’t any pictures of me (THANK GOD!), or aien in there, but, there are pictures of my nephews and nieces taken during last raya. But the last time I checked, that pic was already removed. Tapi gamba my brother-in-law’s car still ada lagi. I mean, this person must really know our family members priddy damn well to steal these pictures and put it up on his/her website kan! Haihs.The thing that disgusts me is, the way he/she writes! SANGAT DISGUSTING ok. The words written. The topics discussed. The words used. Urgh. Mcm org takde life.
I mean, please. Get your own freakin identity lah ok. Don’t go prancing around pretending someone that you’re not. Question is, should I write to this psycho and ask for clarification or not? Hmm.
God I hate copycows.
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