Friday, January 22, 2010

Sad Mama

This is not good. Not good at all.

If a few weeks back I was gloating with happiness for getting a good 5oz of milk (which is, btw, is very rare for me) to bring home for Aydein, unfortunately that is no more the case nowadays.

Since I came back to work after 2 months of maternity leave, I made sure that I pump once at work every day, and I could basically get 3 - 4oz per session. And now, it's tough to even get 2oz at 4pm, my normal pumping time. Believe it or not, lately, I can only get 1oz out of me when I pump. So everyday, I would go back and add the expressed milk to the milk expressed before, and feed Aydein only when the accumulated expressed milk reaches at least 3 - 4oz.

Is it because I've been trying to eat less to lose weight? I don't know.
Is it because lack of stimulation? I don't know.

My cousin offered to bring me to see this makcik urut that she claims to be good at massaging the uknowwhats, because her uknowwhats were producing milk like pipes after she saw her. But she saw that makcik when she was still in confinement period so that's understandable. As for me, it's been more than 7 months. And Aydein has started with formula, hence the less stimulation. Should I still give it a try?

Poor Aydein, mama's milk is slowly and surely diminishing. And it also makes me sad that Aydein would be fed with more formula than breastmilk now. :(

I have not given up, though. I am still breastfeeding Aydein with whatever milk I still have and will still pump everyday to get the little 1 oz of milk everyday. But it makes me all teary at the thought that Aydein might stop latching on me one day, before he reaches 2 years of age. Sighs.

PS : I did manage to shed off 1 kg from the dieting though. But if this is the cost I have to pay to get back in shape, not sure if I should continue doing it. . . :(

14 comments:

RieNa said...

tanya dulu makcik tuh,biasa ke dia urut org yg dah bersalin 7 bln lbh ni?kalau ok, tak salah give a try.tgk kesannya mcm mana.

mmg sedih. sedih sgt2..putus cinta x sesedih anak tak menyusu bdn tau!

Thara said...

kak riena :
betol!

Amy Ali said...

i am obviously not in the best position to comment on the breastfeeding part.. hence i nak comment on your dieting part. jangan diet dulu la dear. nanti aydein da besar lagi sket baru la diet2 ni. i ni haa tengah pk cane nak put on weight! kepeng jee.. :(

Thara said...

amy :
i know, tapi, pressure u. everybody is telling me ive gotten chubby. ive gained weight. one auntie recently told me "ok jumpe lagi. psst. jaga badan leklok," another lady told me, "takpelah thara kan. dah penah berasa badan kurus," i was like, wth? nak console ke, nak perli?

hence, the dieting..

MOMMAHOLICSURI said...

dear, i undertand your feeling. keep pumping ok. and at home, keep breastfeeding him. mana tau, berkat x putus asa tu, one day, makin baik your milk production.

well, i rasa x salah u nak diet (tapi i xrasa u need la dear, u still geng dengan anne, i ni ha yang kena ;)). just make sure the food that you take having enough nutrition to supply some to hadif through bf.

happy pumping ;)

MOMMY NADIA said...

thara,
for me,the only things that keep my bmilk supply sustained, I think sb I makan bnyk..specially during working hours..ensure to take heavy food in the morning or lunch time, then InsyaAllah in the evening I will get much ebm.
Think the idea to keep slim is ok..but not by eating less at work..!
Seriously,the main prob that I faced,ate alot but less exercise..
now I dah start g swimming balik..
dear,dont gv up..
other people may work with diff solutions..so try to study the best for you..
keep on pumping n dont gv up!

RuZaNNa said...

Reading other mommies who are still determine in breastfeeding their child, made me feel less of a mother.. sbb i sorg aje kot yg dah almost fully convert to formula milk.. so jgn ikut i thara if you're still berkobar2 to fully breastfeed Aydein.. my milk supply went down extremely during my trip to london as i only manage yo pump 3 times a day as compared to 8 times a day.. so since then i pun jadi malas nak relactate.. so akhirnya tinggal la saki baki aje which can never satisfy imran.. but still manage to put him to sleep sambil nyot nyot.. heheh

Good luck dear, and yeah, food intake does affect the milk volume and quality.. but then again, you need to find what works for you.. :)

princess J said...

Thara, breastfeeding mums who are on our healthy breakfast program are able to breastfeed well while losing the post natal fat.

they don't have milking woes too. i hope we can help you. let me know if you want to know more.

Thara said...

nuurill :
yeah i still bf aydein malam2 once i get back from office. masih belom putus asa and cuba lagi ni. harap2 berkat tak putus asa i ni membuahkan hasil lah, mcm u ckp. amin. :) and noted on the food intake, thanks babe! ;)

nadia :
the thing is nadia, dulu bila i perasan milk supply i was not as much, i started to eat a lot. psl i dgr org ckp, we need to eat a lot to get abundance supply of milk. tapi bile i mkn byk, milk supply i tgk sama je. tapi my body keeps on expanding like nobodys business! ntah lah u. serbe salah i sakrang ni. :( but yeah i'll try and work this out. and work my body out too! thanks for the input babe. :)

anne :
good parenting does not rely on breastfeeding alone. and we can only try, betol tak? breastfeeding ur baby less does NOT make u less of a mother. rezeki masing2 kot kan? i believe apa yang i lalui, and u lalui, ade hikmah nya. and yes, skarang ni pon i mcm u. aydein skarang ni bila latch on me, its more for comfort sucking. not much for milk. but it doesnt matter lah. as long as hes happy, im happy. :) tu lah u. haih serbe salah. maybe cara i diet ni silap kot ni. hmm. thanks for the input though! :)

jay :
ive thought abt HL. but ive done my research and also been told that HL is not safe for breastfeeding. it contains some herbs or something that some babies may not be able to tolerate. that's my main concern about HL and i didnt wanna take the risk.

BabyBooned said...

i so get u coz i was in your shoes before. dont fret too much, hun, there're definitely ways to improve the situation, insyaAllah.

have u been drinking horlicks? it works wonders to increase milk supply. and try swallowing a spoonful of fenugreek herb everyday. that helps too. but the most useful thing is to pump very regularly. more like every 3 or 4 hours. the motion increases the supply because its all in the supply-demand relationship, kan. the more u pump, the more likely u'll produce more and more milk. and dont forget to relax while pumping. i used to read or watch tv a lot while pumping ;)

u can diet lah tapi do eat healthily. grilled stuff, protein-rich stuff, veges, fruits, lean meats and fat-free dairy.. good food doesn't have to be fattening, kan. i found that when breastfeeding its very important to eat regularly and drink A LOT of water. i used to drink minimum 3 litres a day.

insyaAllah, relax and stick to it, and things'll improve. trust me ;) i breastfed for 14 months and only forced to stop coz i had to have the second spinal surgery. itupun after that my milk supply took another 18 months to deplete. so have faith!

sarah said...

Thara, byk2 bersabar.tapi Thara masih bertuah sbb Aydien still nyot2 walaupun x byk susu.situasi akak plak berbeza, baby dah x mau isap breast dah.so akak pump every 3hour n ambik vitamin shaklee utk pastikan susu x drop.alhamdulillah akak masih mampu supply susu utk baby.apa yg penting keep pumping evry 2 or 3 hour.

Thara said...

babybooned:

ive heard about the horlicks bit, but never tried pasal i rasa mcm it doesnt really make sense. hehe. but since u said it worked wondrous on you, i will sure try it!

actually mcm i commented before i used to eat a lot just to get my milk supply up again, tapi after a while i rasa mcm, my milk supply is going nowhere and im gaining weight rapidly, hence i stopped trying. i used to drink gallons of water everyday. but i see no change in my milk supply pon. sighs.

ive always envied ppl like u and get quite upset when ppl gifted with an abundance of milk choose to feed their babies with formula just because they said it's troubling to have their baby with them 24/7. sighs. sayang kan.

but thanks for the heads up though. really appreciate it. :)


sarah :

yeah u can say im lucky indeed in that sense. aydein has this very strong need to suckle on smthn hehe. tapi pandai pulak dia kalau kasik puting, dia ngamok! :P alhamdulillah im happy to hear that akak punye susu still byk melimpah ruah. tulah kan rezeki masing2. :) and yes, thanks for the advice, thara akan cuba pump lebeh byk lepas ni. tapi tak terlambat ke? baby dah 8 bulan dah, and susu thara mmg sgt cronic dah skang ni.

sarah said...

Thara, akak suggest try ambik vitamin shaklee.skrg ada promosi trial pack utk 30 days for breastfeeding mom, RM80. Nie contact no. kalo thara berminat.Norita 012-8535689.akak dulu pun susu down gak so akak try ambik vitamin nie, alhamdulillah menjadi.so sampai sekrg akak masih ambik vitamin nie.

Thara said...

kak sarah :

ooh thanks kak sarah! tapi ape nama vitamin tu? nak read up about it dulu before purchase pape. it is proven to banyakkan susu ke memang?

ps : akak ade blog?