Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Last Straw

I've tried to be discreet, so many times. I've tried containing my anger and kept it to myself. But what happened a few weeks back was more than I could take.

She lied to me again.

You see, I have told her not to feed Aydein straight from the containers, and that each time, she should scoop half of the dish from the containers into the feeding bowl. If the Aydein wants more, she can always scoop more dish using a different spoon into the feeding bowl. Never to scoop the entire dish into the feeding bowl, because if Aydein does not finish it, it would all go down the drain as we will have introduced bacteria from Aydein’s mouth into the leftover food.

But when I caught her cheating and saying that she only scooped half of the dish into the feeding bowl when the container which was initially FULL was already EMPTY, that was the final blow. Enough is enough. It was that day or never.

So I called her into a room, just the 2 of us. I spoke to her nicely but firmly. I pointed out her mistakes one by one. I recalled ALL the lies she fed me which I pretended not to know and kept quiet, out of respect to her. There were times when she (as expected) tried to deny and twist the story, which I managed to counter-back intelligently, it even surprised myself.

I told her that I liked her; that she's done great job so far and that I knew she loved Aydein. But this could not continue. If she was going to stay with me for another 2 years, I would have to trust her. We needed to feel easy about each other in order to live under the same roof. But if she kept being this way, I didn’t think it was possible. I even asked her the reason for her change in behavior because she was not like this before.

She remained quiet.

I continued again (because I couldn't seem to stop!) and repeated that this could not continue. She has to stop with the lies. And if she did anything wrong, anything at all, she needed to confess the truth and tell me. I reassured her that I will neverbe mad at her as long as she tells me the truth. In fact, I asked her, "The whole 5 months you've been working with me, have I ever scolded you once? Have I ever raised my voice at you once?" She said no. I continued "Yes, because it's not my style to scold anyone unless I caught them lying. I just can’t stand liars,"

Just in case there was something wrong with US, I asked to confirm with her if there was anything that she was not happy about, living with us. Was the food provided enough? Was the workload too much for her? Was she happy working with us?

She said alhamdulillah, she was more than happy to work with us.

So I went on. I said, "I've been good to you, but at the same time, I need your cooperation too. I'm not asking much, I just need you to always be honest with me. Even if you make mistakes, just let me know, I won't be mad at you. After all, we're just humans. We’re not perfect. We're bound to make mistakes,"

That's when I saw tears welled up in her eyes, and she cried. She repeatedly asked for forgiveness from me.

So I told her, "It's okay. I'm not even mad at you. We're all humans, bik. Like I said, we're bound to make mistakes. Just remember what I said, and everything will be fine,"

And no, we did not hug after that. :P But we said our peace to each other and I left the room, feeling strangely like a superwoman. Haha. No lah. Honestly, it felt good to let it all out. It felt so much better once you pour your heart out and say what you had to say, you know?

And well, it's been 2 weeks now from the last episode and so far, she's been keeping to her words. And hopefully, just hopefully, she will turn a new leaf and stay that way forever. :)


RuZaNNa said...

It's been 7 months since she started working with you? wow... sabarnya youuu.. kalau i dah lama ada 1-to-1 session.. hehehe
Ohh i'm so worried if my maid suddenly shows her true colors.. next month she will be getting her salary.. mana tau masa tuh berubah.. mintak dijauhkan.. amin...
But you did the right thing.. by telling her off the right way :)

bintiegenxyz said...

syabas inspector shahab. hati mere sathi :p

Thara said...

anne :
oops. sorry. 7-2 = 5 months! ngehe. kene buat correction ni. :P

dont worry, not all maids are the same. mungkin rezeki u dapat yg ikhlas bekerja sape tau kan. just keep on praying that she stays that way forever la ok :) and yeah it felt really good to be able to let it all out! :D

bintie :
hahaha. thanks bintie ;) laaaaama tak nampak batang idong u dkt sini. :P

RieNa said...

pandai bibik tiqah speaking. hehehe

Thara said...

hahaha. jgn maen maen! :P


Hi Thara, is your baby at home alone with the maid?
You know, it has been appearing few times to my mind to have a maid that can help me menjaga Oman dan buat kerja rumah sikit-sikit. Tapi until now, i xde kekuatan tu lagi cause no one is observing at home.
If you know any place where a recommended main can be hired, lemme know ek. :)

p/s: I tabik spring kat u... kene mencontohi ni. :)

Thara said...

nuurill :
yes, my baby is at home alone with the maid. but im lucky i live nearby my in laws. so masa i sound die haritu, i made sure it was at my in law's house. and i stayed at my in law's a few days more after that episode, so that kalau die nak lepas geram ke ape dkt aydein, die takkan berani with my in laws around. teehee. lepastu, baru balik rumah sendirik. and by that time, masing2 punye anger pon dah subside kan teehee.

yeah i know what u mean. but what u can do is, kalau u risau, is to install videocam/webcam at home, while we are at the office to monitor the maid since noone is observing them at home kan. i pon plan to, actually. tapi sampai harini tak terbuat2. haihs. MUST make time to install one soon jugak ni.


nadia pun cm Nuurill,still to find guts to hire the maid..after dengar bnyk stories,I jdk takut..If I stay with my parents/in law..I mybe amik maid..atleast ada yg monitor..
neway kagum that u hv guts to face her 1 to 1..kalu me cm lah..
and..the other thing thara..ur bibik can speak english well lah dear..hehehe..just kidding!

Thara said...

nadia :
actually, dulu pon i ralat juge u. tapi masalahnya, nowadays, i dgr nursery pon lebeh kurang je. haritu sampai masuk case dalam 999. a few nurseries di kesan buat bende bukan2. aien pon tak berkenan nak hanta ke nursery sebenarnya u. bcoz ade xperience my BIL, masa amik anak dia skali dulu, anak dia penuh dgn sawang (that means penjaga nursery tu tak monitor bebudak dkt situ, psl tak menang tgn kot). teros my BIL tu decide amik bibik. bende ni, semua ada pros and cons u. lama2 i pikir, tawakkal pd Allah je lah kan. kalaupon tade sape dkt rumah to watch after aydein, Allah is always there to watch after him while im not around kan! ;)

itu lah u. hebat tau bibik2 skarang. speaking ngalahkan kita. ngehehe. :P

kunaz said...

wahh garang gak u ni ek thara leh sound2 maid. but good thing la kalo x nnt lg melarat kn. kene kumpul guts nie to do like wut u did, but so far xde reason lg i nk bebel kt my maid. huhu...

Thara said...

kunaz :
its not that i garang. sblm tu i byk bersabar dgn dia. die tipu i ini itu, i diamkan aje. but its just that semua org ade limit masing2 kan. so when u cross that limit, sape2 pon bole meletop. shes crossed my limit. mmg kene lah :P