I Got My Diploma in Breastfeeding!

Note: Lengthy post. Go get yourself some cookies before you start reading! :P

Most people would usually get their diploma before degree, right? Not for me! I got my diploma after degree! Ladies and gentleman, please welcome your newest diploma graduate from the Nursing Faculty -- me! :D

Alhamdulillah, I've managed to achieve my first mission of fully breastfeeding Adeena for 6 months. I aimed to exclusively breastfeed her for the first 6 months though, but when I saw her growing interest in food, I decided to start her on solids earlier, at 5 1/2 months. She will turn 7 months in a few days time, and I am blessed that I am still given the chance and rizq to fully breastfeed her to date.

Many have asked me, how did I do it? How do I have so much milk? Honestly, I don't think it's got anything to do with my milk factory. But it's about one thing and one thing only -- determination.

If you've been a follower of this blog since 4 years back, you'd know that I didn't get to fully breastfeed my first son, Aydein, for as long as I'd hoped I would. In fact, I only managed to breastfeed him exclusively for 1 month. After that, I started supplementing him with formula. Why? Because I lacked determination.

I SAID I'd like to breastfeed Aydein for 2 years, but I did NOTHING to achieve just that. I didn't read, I lacked of knowledge, I didn't even get a pump. I hated the idea of Aydein hanging on to me like ALL THE FREAKING TIME. I thought breastfeeding was so troublesome. And there goes my "determination".

So one day, when my breasts stopped engorging, I thought my breasts were not making much milk. I read, and there were articles saying that it was normal because my body has regulated the amount of milk my baby needs, but I was stubborn. I thought, how come some women still get engorgement after years of breastfeeding? The info must be wrong. These "lactation consultants" are just simply saying it. I tried all the different natural milk boosters, still didn't help. So I turned to only one thing I knew would save all the trouble -- formula.

Someone told me before, if you want to successfully breastfeed your kid for 2 years, you need to place you niat. It's true. When you pasang your niat, Allah will make it easier for you. Allah will give you the determination. But the moment you said breastfeeding is troublesome, you lose your niat, you lose your determination. So yes, as cliche as it sounds, be careful what you wish for.

So what I did differently with my second breastfeeding journey was, I started off with a good niat, even while Adeena was still in my womb. I was determined to breastfeed her for at least 2 years. I equipped myself early - with the knowledge and the equipments needed to help make this mission a successful one.

As soon as I delivered, there were times when the nurses offered to give formula to Adeena because her sugar reading was slightly low, but I insisted to fully breastfeed Adeena. I knew my milk hasn't came in yet at that time, but I knew it was important for Adeena to get as much colostrum from me + nipple stimulation for milk production, so breastfeeding was the only way to go, no formula.

2 weeks after we got home, I started pumping milk out. One side direct-feeding Adeena, the other side pumping. The output was not as encouraging at first, but that's okay. All the negative thoughts pushed aside, I kept pumping. As long as there's demand, there's milk. The more milk that is expressed out, the more milk my body will make, I reminded myself. And alhamdulillah, from what seemed like a few drops, became one full bottle. Oh and then, my breasts stopped engorging this time too, ha, but I knew better this time. I kept breastfeeding + expressing milk out. Anddd guess what? Ada pun milk! So the lactation consultants were right. They didn't just simply say. :P Once I started working, I made sure I pump 3-4 times a day. And if there is a need for me to go anywhere without Adeena with me, the pump goes with me. And whenever I see Adeena sleeping, or simply any chance that I get to pump, I will pump.

So for those expecting moms out there who have placed your niat to fully your baby for at least 2 years, let me share with you some of the ABCs on breastfeeding.

1) There is no such thing as "not enough milk" because there is. Trust me, your milk is ALWAYS there. Take toilet tank for example. Once you flush, the tank will automatically refill right? That's exactly how our breasts work. Once you pump, your breast will automatically refill the milk. The milk flow may be a little slower, but it's there. So don't be afraid to breastfeed your baby even after you've pumped, because there will still be milk left for your baby. Most importantly, don't worry! As long as you pop on your baby for however long he wants, he'll be fine. (To be safe though, practice pumping + direct feeding at the same time each time. This way, you can be sure your baby is getting enough + you get to collect stock at the same time).

2) No breast engorgement does NOT mean no milk. Haha this one I say with 101% confidence. Seriously, it only means that you've efficiently emptied your breasts, which is good, because the more often your breasts are empty, the more milk your body will make! In fact, engorgement is no good in my opinion, because it only means that you don't express out/feed your baby often enough, signalling your body that your baby doesn't need much. Less demand = less milk production. Easy peasy.

3) Make full use of your confinement period. During this time, your body is a milk factory. It will make crazy amount of milk, especially during the second week on wards, because during this time your body doesn't know how much milk your baby needs, so it makes crazy amount of milk. Take this advantage and start pumping + stocking up early, it will be worth it. Because for most people, once they go back to work, their body would have regulated the amount of milk that their baby need, and make just enough for the baby's intake. It stops being a crazy milk factory, and start being an efficient one hehe. So take advantage of this time when your milk factory goes crazy, and feed + pump like crazy!

4) Trust your breasts, they will make enough milk for your baby. Really, the second you doubt yourself, just remember to have a little faith in your "twinnies". Allah has made the women's body so unique, she can breastfeed even more than just one baby. Remember those days when formula hasn't even been invented? How did the children thrive then? Solely on their moms' milk. Takde pulak cerita tak cukup susu bagai kan.

So there you have it. Determination is key. But of course, knowledge is also equally important. Because without knowledge, determination alone wouldn't help you get all these.

Remember, when there's determination, coupled with effort, knowledge, perseverance and good niat, insyaallah you will not only succeed in breastfeeding, but in every other things that you do. :)

Happy breastfeeding, mommies! :)

Ps: I'm now striving for a Degree (1 year), then Master (1 1/2 years) and then PhD (2 years). Please pray for me guys, and let's do this together! :)

Story of Adeena Annur

Darling Adeena,

Did you know mama has been waiting for you for the past 2 years? Ever since mama lost your 'elder sibling' due to ectopic pregnancy in 2011, mama has been trying so hard to conceive again. After much effort & doa, alhamdulillah mama's doctor made mama the happiest person again when she confirmed that mama was conceiving again in June 2012 and that it'd be a girl! :)



That's you, right in the middle there! ;) Now, would you like to know how you were brought into this world? :) Okay, since you can't talk just yet, I'll take your silence as a yes, okay? :P

Before you were brought into this world, I carried you in my super huge belly for 9 whole months! And when 9 months finally past, on February 14th, 2013, you decided to let me know that you were ready to meet our little family when mama saw red stain when mama went to toilet. This was not the case when mama was carrying your elder brother last time. Although mama knows it was pretty normal, mama went for a checkup nonetheless. That's when mama knew, mama was already 2cm dilated! Nevertheless, the doctor said 2cm dilation could (sometimes) take a week or a month even before it could progress, so she adviced mama to rest at home while monitoring the contraction in case it gets stronger.

2 days after that, mama saw more spotting when mama went to toilet. It was more than usual, so that made mama a little worried. Papa decided to take mama to hospital to check but we took our time and had our dinner to fill our tummies before going off. As soon as we reached the hospital, mama was brought to the labor room.

To be honest, mama didn't think it was necessary to be admitted that night. All mama wanted was to check if you were fine and that everything was normal, because call it mother's instinct, but I knew you were not going to come out that night. And mama was right. After checking, everything was fine and you were still 2cm dilated.

Mama's doctor, Doctor Delaila, came at about 11pm to check on mama. Mama was still 2cm dilated and asked if I could go home because mama did not feel any pain. She checked the CTG graph again, looked at mama and said, "You do not feel any pain? I can see from the graph that your contraction is pretty strong. Most women would feel the pain now. You're pretty strong!" That made mama smile. :P



She dared not release mama that night though, because since mama could not feel that much of a pain with strong contraction such as that, she was afraid when it was finally "time", it would be too late for mama! So mama stayed in the labor room, watched TV, browsed my social media networks, and chillin' like a boss ;p Mama could even sleep soundly throughout the night. Seriously, admission was not necessary.

Then, morning came. The doctor came to check and mama was 3cm dilated. Still a long way to go! Mama's doctor was still hesitant about releasing mama, because according to her, mama was already in labor and the contraction was strong every 5-7 mins. The only problem was mama's cervix was a bit thickish so it was slowing down the labor process. Then, the doctor told mama she was going to help mama see you faster by putting a tablet down there where you came out to soften the cervix. I gotta tell you though, the idea of seeing you that very day made mama really excited, so mama agreed to it! :)

The doctor was right. 2 hours after the tablet was inserted, mama started to feel the progress. The contraction was getting stronger and more painful. Yes, mama can finally feel the pain! ;p

At first, the pain was still bearable. When the pain got unbearable, mama called the midwife to check on the progress and she said mama was 5cm dilated.

ONLY 5CM DILATED? In case you didn't know, mama needs to be 10cm dilated before mama can bring you out the tummy! That's like, half the journey to go and the pain was already unbearable for mama!



Mama tossed and turned to ease the pain, and discovered that lying on the side helps to reduce the pain. So there mama was, lying there on the bed, and clutching onto the bed rail (and papa's poor hand!) for dear life. The midwife asked if mama wanted to take any injection or drug called epidural to help ease the pain, and because it was so painful, mama actually considered taking the Pethidine injection! But when the midwife said it would only help 10%-20% of the pain, mama didn't think it was worth it. Besides, mama managed to deliver your elder brother drug-free the first time; why can't mama do it again right? ;) So mama continued to endure the pain. 

5 hours passed and suddenly, mama felt the urge to push. The midwife didn't let mama to push because mama was only 8cm dilated but the urge to push you out was so strong, that mama pushed anyway even after applying the "panting" breathing technique. Somehow, the panting technique didn't work this time. Mama knew mama shouldn't push you out, mama tried not to, but somehow mama had no control. It felt asthough mama's tummy forced itself to push you out, without mama's consent! I guess you too, were eager to see your little family, huh? :)

Luckily there was this very nice midwife who never stopped giving mama support and encouraging mama to continue to practice the breathing technique. She also offered mama the Ethonox gas (which mama took gladly) to help ease the pain. And then, the stronag urge to push came again. Mama told the midwife, "I need to push! I need to push! I need to push NOW!". That's when she called the doctor in (while holding your head from coming out!) to assist in delivery.
Like you needed assistance! :P It happened in a blink of an eye. The doctor came in, put on her coat, and as soon as the midwives brought the legs-rester up, the doctor approached closer, and without waiting any longer, with just one push, mama pushed you out, justttt in time for the doctor to "catch" you! It happened so fast, the doctor didn't even have time to sit down or assist anything to get you out! We were doing all the work ourselves, baby! High five! :P



Alhamdulillah, on Saturday, February 16th, 2013, mama heard your first cry as you made your much-anticipated debut at 1.44pm, weighing 2.77kg, via normal delivery. And just like with your elder brother, Papa took the honor to cut your umbilical cord, and Qamat at your left ear, while you stay quiet and at peace. :) Alhamdulillah, it was a very fast and smooth delivery. 5 hours in (actual) labor with no tear; I can't ask for more! :)



Adeena Annur, no words can describe how happy your papa and I are to have you in our life, and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us family! If with your elder brother, it was all about blue, guns, dinos and monsters, now that you're here, we can now explore pink, laces, ribbons and barbies together! :) Needless to say, you complete our family. :)

2nd Pregnancy Diary

They say every pregnancy is different. Well, I can't agree more!

1. It's a girl!

For one (and one obvious reason), I'm carrying a girl this time! So that makes my second pregnancy a whole lot different (and more fun!) because I get to fantasize about what to dress my girl in -- tutus, headbands, floral tops, pink polkadots, frills, laces and ribbons! The list goes on and on! :D



2. Headaches/Migraines

Unlike my first pregnancy which was smooth-sailing, this time around, I had to battle with migraines almost everyday during my first & second trimester. It only got better as I entered the 5th-month of pregnancy, so you can imagine how tormenting it was for me :(

3. Melaram mommy

If I only had one favorite outfit (or "uniform" as I like to call it) that I wear everytime I go out when I was carrying Aydein that it made my elder sister SICK (hehe), this time around, I'm all about dressing up & makeup! I even got myself a few new pregnancy outfits. Check this out!

Last time.

This time.

 

4. Sweet tooth

Another obvious difference for my pregnancy this time around is my liking for sweet-things! I've always had a sweet-tooth but this pregnancy just amplifies it even more! Unlike last time when I would go for sour things like tom yam, every now and then now, I'll need my sweet fix or I'll be a very grumpy pregnant lady ;p











5. Nausea

Although I don't have morning sickness, this time around, I do feel nauseous every now and then especially during the first trimester. And sebab loya-loya ni jugak lah, somehow, I dapat rasakan I will get a baby girl before I even found out that it's indeed a girl. (Sebab masa Aydein dulu tak rasa apa langsung!). Talk about mother instinct! ;P

6. Bigger tummy 

At 8 months, my tummy is noticeably bigger than it was last time too! It's so huge, that people kept asking me if I might be carrying twins, maybe triplet! Hehe. Checkout the progress of my baby bumps ;)

8 weeks

16 weeks

19 weeks

29 weeks

34 weeks

7. Severe backpains

Due to my very big tummy,  at 8 months, it makes walking sometimes painful too, especially at the pelvic bones. It does not help that my back (especially near the spinal cord) is always throbbing. Some suggest that I get myself pregnancy belt to support my growing tummy, tapi haihhhh.. malasnyaaa nak carik/beli. Lucky thing I have Mr Husband who's ever so kind to help massage my back whenever I need them. :) Thanks sayang, I love you long time! <3>

8. More prepared

Due to my experience with Aydein, this time around, I know what to expect, what to buy and what to get even before the baby is out. And I ended up getting...











9. Can't sleep well

I'm not sure why they say boys are usually more active than girls, because my unborn baby girl kicks a whole lot of storm even more frequent than Aydein did, as far as I can remember! In fact, she's so active, it makes sleeping ever so difficult compared to last time!

10. Weight gain!
Ah, this is the best part. When I was carrying Aydein, I put on a whopping 20 kilos, thinking that it would make a big, chubby baby. But waddayaknow? Last-last Aydein keluar 2.75kg je! ;p This time around, I learnt that eating a lot does not guarantee a big baby, so believe it or not my weight gain up to this day is just 10kgs! Yeay! :P Doctor assured that my baby girl is growing well too, though so that's a double yeay for me, alhamdulillah! :P

However, some things do remain the same for both pregnancies (good and bad), like :

1. I have no morning sickness throughout both pregnancies, alhamdulillah
2. I have gestational diabetes during both pregnancies
3. I carry my tummy high, like I'm carrying a boy. So kata orang tua "kalau girl, perot lebor" tu tipu ler ;p

Let's see how the third pregnancy turns out like in the future, shall we? Eh jap. Third pregnancy? :P Last but not least, please do pray that everything goes well for me and my baby okay darlings? <3>

Fresh New Bun In The Oven!

Unlike my first pregnancy which was.. well, accidental (hehe), this second pregnancy was super planned! You see, 2 years after I delivered Aydein, I was ready to go for a second one. But just like "missing things", you know, bila kita taknak dia ada, bila kita nak dia takda, no matter how hard I tried, it just wouldn't happen.

I remember trying every single day during my fertile days for a few months but it didn't happen. I remember the times that I shed my tears each time I saw red stains on my undie when I thought it would finally happen. I remember the countless pregnancy strips that I chucked into the dustbin, disappointed that the result came out negative. I remember almost giving up because I thought I would never get pregnant again because of my blocked fallopian tube due to the ectopic pregnancy. I remember wanting another baby so much, I even considered medical intervention to help me get pregnant. Yeap, this second pregnancy was not an easy-breezy one for me.

But just when I thought of taking some fertility pills (that I dread!) to help me get pregnant again, Allah answered my prayers.

In June 2012, I was late -- 3 days late, to be exact. As usual, I would try to my keep cool eventhough my hopes were starting to soar up high. Calmly, I took out the pregnancy strip, and tested my first urine in the morning and waited for the result patiently. My heart pumped rapidly while I wait for 1 minute to pass. And once it did, I went to look at the result calmly, convincing myself that even if it didn't happen that day, it would be okay. And as soon as I got to the test strip, I saw... a bright SINGLE red line glaring back at me.

And no matter how many times I reminded and braced myself before, I ended up tearing once again. With teary eyes, I went to my husband, hugged my husband and apologized to him, telling him it was yet another failure. He hugged me back, and told me it was okay and that we were to see a specialist to help us with our problem the week after. I nodded.

But call it mother instinct or whatever you want to call it, but this time, I was quite certained that I was pregnant. I could tell, because of the symptoms that I was having at that time -- swollen breasts, nausea, and cravings. So I waited. And on the 7th day that I was late, I tested it out again. I waited patiently again for the result to show, and again, a bright red SINGLE line glared back at me. I was about to feel emotional and chuck the test strip away when slowly, but surely, another faint red line came out to form.. TWO lines! I couldn't believe my eyes! I went closer to the strip, lift it up and examined it even closer, and sure enough -- 2 red lines were right in front of me!

The second line was a bit faint like the picture above though, but the box's manual indicated that it could mean that the pregnancy might still be at the very early stage of pregnancy. So I rushed out the toilet, woke my sleeping husband and pulled him into the toilet. I said, "Look!" (pointing to the test strip). I don't know if it was the sleepiness or if he was having a bad eye-sight day that morning, but unexcited, he looked at the strip and asked me back, "Apa?". I was growing impatient by the minute, and said, "LOOK! I'm pregnant! I'm pregnant, yang! Alhamdulillah," and smiled widely like an idiot. He went closer to take a look, and said, "Oh, alhamdulillah.." :) :) :) We shared a hug and spent the next hour just talking about the miracle. :) :) :)

The very same morning, we went to see Dr Delaila at SDMC and she confirmed that I was pregnant again with this picture. See that small little black spot in the middle there? That's my (now 8 months young) baby! :) :) :)

We didn't want to jinx it, so we waited a few days before we told our families about the news, and waited again until I was about 16 weeks before I spilled the news to the rest of my friends and acquaintances.

Alhamdulillah, I am pregnant again! ;)

7 Things To Wrap Up 2012!

I know, I know. I've been neglecting this blog, yet again. Sorry guys! 2012 has been an eventful year for me, it made me wonder how I could have left so many things happened unrecorded in this blog! So here's my 2012 in a glance..

1. I Left Nuffnang Malaysia in June 2012

I don't know why, but I still get people calling and asking me about Nuffnang this and Nuffnang that, thinking that I am still with Nuffnang! One time, this blogger even called me and asking me if I would be at an event, 4 months after I left Nuffnang! *bangs head on table* Korang sayang sangat dekat mak eh! ;p So just for the record, I am no longer a Nuffie but Nuffnang will always hold a special place in my heart! As I like to say it, once a Nuffie, always a Nuffie! ;)

2. I Re-joined Exabytes Malaysia

That's right, I am now part of the Exabees again and very much happy with it! If you've been following me since before, you'd know that I used to be part of the team back in 2008. In 2010, I left them for Nuffnang, and here I am again joining Exabytes as the person responsible to manage all their social media channels :)  It will be my 3rd month with Exabytes this month, and hopefully many more months to come!

3. Aydein Is Potty-Trained at 3!

Yes, Aydein is now diaper-free -- well, during the daytime at least! :D There have been a few episodes of "accidents", of course (even now!) but he can now tell us when he's "going" and we'll assist him to the toilet! The funny thing is, he's so used to doing his big business standing that he'll even stand on the toilet bowl whenever he needs to go big! It's pretty worrying, so we've never left him unattended whenever he needs to do his business, big or small. Nevertheless, I'm proud of his big achievement! ;)

4. Aydein Is Now Bottle-Free

The little soldier also just made the bottle-to-cup transition recently -- at the age of 3 1/2 years old! :P It's a little late, but hey, everything's gotta start somewhere right? ;) One thing I noticed as soon as we bottle-wean him though; he doesn't drink as much milk in the cup as he did in the bottle before -- which is fine to us, because we want him to get more nutrition from adult food and drink less of milk like he did before. So that's a yeay to us; about time that we spend less on his milk eh! Save sikit duit papa, nak. ;p

5. Aydein Is Going To School

Everytime I think of this day (the day Aydein will start school), I get all emotional inside. Sigh, my baby's all grown up. In less than a week, the New Year will embrace us, and it will be the start of the new chapter in Aydein's life -- attending a school! His bag is ready, his water bottle is set, and soon, he will be putting on his uniform and begin his journey as a pre-schooler! Words cant describe the way I feel about it now; happy, sad, worried, proud. Oh well, I guess it's a feeling that all first-time moms get. ;(

6. I Am A Proud Owner of an Online Business

I've always wanted to run my own business. I mentioned this in one of my 2010 resolutions and alhamdulillah, together with my elder sister, Pretty Folds is born just a few months back. To be honest, it's really a fun thing to do and business was doing well for Pretty Folds, but the thing I learnt in business is that -- one truly needs to be commited in it in order to be successful! And at this moment, commitment is something that I don't actually have, hence the slowness in stock update lately hehehe. 

7. I Am Pregnant -- Again!

Well, some of you may have already found out about this via my social media networks.. but for those of you who didn't know... I AM VERY PREGNANT! I'm going to be 8 months next week to be exact, so you can imagine how HUGE I am now! :P The best thing is it's going to be a GIRL insyaallah this time, so you can imagine how excited I am! I'm already thinking.. headbands, tutu, pretty floral tops, pink, lavendar, polkadots.. WHEEEEE! ;P I'm going to write about this second pregnancy journey again in a different post, so lookout for it soon! :D

So here's my post to wrap up year 2012.. and I look forward to the wonderful things 2013 holds for me!

Pretty Dress Gone Wrong

Dresses. They're supposed to make one look sweet, demure and stylish, right? Heh. Well, not all the time! Not when you trip the stairs when you accidentally step on the dress, or when your two fat legs get shown whenever there's strong wind, or in my case, when the dress get stuck at the side of the escalator! *gasp*

I am dead serious.

Some of you may have known that I've (quite) recently celebrated my 27th birthday from this post, but what you didn't know is that I also had a small birthday celebration with my little family the very next day.

I wanted to look my best on my special day, so being the (tough) girly girl that I am, naturally, I chose to wear a dress. From PopLook. And if you know PopLook, you'd know that their dress is usually a little long for petite Asians like us.

I was wearing an Elara maxi dress from ThePopLook, shawl from Alhumaira Contemporary (AHC), and a necklace (with a gorgeous locket!) by my mother in law.

So what I usually do whenever I take the escalator is, I would lift up my skirt a little when the end of the escalator is near. But on that day, my hands were full somehow, as one was holding Aydein, and the other was holding the escalator for balance (I was also on heels!)

As I confidently stepped out of the escalator once it reached the end, the next thing I know, I was pulled back to the escalator and couldn't move an inch! I turned to look what was holding me back, and to my horror, I saw my skirt getting stuck at the side of the escalator!

Out of pure panic and well, embarassment, I tugged frantically on my skirt in hopes that the piece of cloth would break free, but no matter how hard I tugged and yanked on it, it just wouldn't break free! In fact, it made it even worse as the more I pulled at my skirt, the more it seemed to tear!

Luckily there was this lady who was quick enough to press the emergency button. Once the escalator stopped moving, my husband helped to tear the stuck skirt off the escalator and I *ahem* gracefully walked with my head held high again asthough nothing happened, although my skirt was short at one side!

C'mon, what did I tell you guys about confidence again? Yes, muka kena confident beb. Walaupun kain singkat sebelah. :P Heehee.

Once the drama was over, we went to Shogun to stuff ourselves with the yummy food over there and we laughed it off over plates and plates of sushis, oysters and noodles!

Oh well, so much for being sweet, demure and stylish, huh? :P But then again, I have to say, it was really a birthday to remember! ;)