A Letter To My Swing

Hey Swing,

How are you? I hope by now you've safely reached the hands of your new owner who will be taking care of you as how I've taken good care of you for the past 7 months.

I've grown emotionally attached to you these past 7 months, and believe it or not, I teared while wrapping you to your new owner a few days back. How can I not? My freezer is full with milk, and it's all thanks to you!

It was not my intention to let you go, Swing. But I had a hard time catching up with time and deadlines while needing to pump 3x daily at work. You know how long it takes for us to get adequate amount of milk for each session, right -- at least 30 mins! That's why I needed to turn to your sister, Swing Maxi, that comes with double pumps to cut 1/2 of the time we usually take per session.

Your sister has been great, but I sure miss your discreetness! Your sister is a bit noisier compared to you, I'm not sure I can bring her out to the cinemas like how I could with you! :(

Sometimes when I pump, I think of you. You've done well for me, Swing, and I just want you to know how much I love you. So much, that I left a note to your new owner and tell her to take good care of you.

I was also worried that you would get knocked on by other things, I even wrapped you up with bubble wrap for safety measure.

Call me paranoid, but I still think that wasn't enough, so I put you in another box as a protective measure and then, tied you up, so that you don't accidentally fall out.

Knowing how rough the post office guys could get, I also remembered to tell them to stick a "Fragile" sticker on you so they would be gentle when handling you. After that, you're on your own and I could only pray you reach your new owner safely. See how much I love you? :(

And then, off you went. :(

We've had our good times together, and I'm sure you'll do just as good with your new owner too. :) Did you know that she's my junior back in primary school and a very nice one, so if you're worried, don't be! :) Oh she'll be having twins soon, so make sure you help her out as much as you can, as how you've helped me kay? :)

They say mothers get emotionally attached to their pumps and I never really know how true that is until the day I sent you away. Maybe one day we'll meet again, but until then, do take care of yourself there and continue to get some milk out! Love you, babe! ;)

Story of Adeena Annur

Darling Adeena,

Did you know mama has been waiting for you for the past 2 years? Ever since mama lost your 'elder sibling' due to ectopic pregnancy in 2011, mama has been trying so hard to conceive again. After much effort & doa, alhamdulillah mama's doctor made mama the happiest person again when she confirmed that mama was conceiving again in June 2012 and that it'd be a girl! :)



That's you, right in the middle there! ;) Now, would you like to know how you were brought into this world? :) Okay, since you can't talk just yet, I'll take your silence as a yes, okay? :P

Before you were brought into this world, I carried you in my super huge belly for 9 whole months! And when 9 months finally past, on February 14th, 2013, you decided to let me know that you were ready to meet our little family when mama saw red stain when mama went to toilet. This was not the case when mama was carrying your elder brother last time. Although mama knows it was pretty normal, mama went for a checkup nonetheless. That's when mama knew, mama was already 2cm dilated! Nevertheless, the doctor said 2cm dilation could (sometimes) take a week or a month even before it could progress, so she adviced mama to rest at home while monitoring the contraction in case it gets stronger.

2 days after that, mama saw more spotting when mama went to toilet. It was more than usual, so that made mama a little worried. Papa decided to take mama to hospital to check but we took our time and had our dinner to fill our tummies before going off. As soon as we reached the hospital, mama was brought to the labor room.

To be honest, mama didn't think it was necessary to be admitted that night. All mama wanted was to check if you were fine and that everything was normal, because call it mother's instinct, but I knew you were not going to come out that night. And mama was right. After checking, everything was fine and you were still 2cm dilated.

Mama's doctor, Doctor Delaila, came at about 11pm to check on mama. Mama was still 2cm dilated and asked if I could go home because mama did not feel any pain. She checked the CTG graph again, looked at mama and said, "You do not feel any pain? I can see from the graph that your contraction is pretty strong. Most women would feel the pain now. You're pretty strong!" That made mama smile. :P



She dared not release mama that night though, because since mama could not feel that much of a pain with strong contraction such as that, she was afraid when it was finally "time", it would be too late for mama! So mama stayed in the labor room, watched TV, browsed my social media networks, and chillin' like a boss ;p Mama could even sleep soundly throughout the night. Seriously, admission was not necessary.

Then, morning came. The doctor came to check and mama was 3cm dilated. Still a long way to go! Mama's doctor was still hesitant about releasing mama, because according to her, mama was already in labor and the contraction was strong every 5-7 mins. The only problem was mama's cervix was a bit thickish so it was slowing down the labor process. Then, the doctor told mama she was going to help mama see you faster by putting a tablet down there where you came out to soften the cervix. I gotta tell you though, the idea of seeing you that very day made mama really excited, so mama agreed to it! :)

The doctor was right. 2 hours after the tablet was inserted, mama started to feel the progress. The contraction was getting stronger and more painful. Yes, mama can finally feel the pain! ;p

At first, the pain was still bearable. When the pain got unbearable, mama called the midwife to check on the progress and she said mama was 5cm dilated.

ONLY 5CM DILATED? In case you didn't know, mama needs to be 10cm dilated before mama can bring you out the tummy! That's like, half the journey to go and the pain was already unbearable for mama!



Mama tossed and turned to ease the pain, and discovered that lying on the side helps to reduce the pain. So there mama was, lying there on the bed, and clutching onto the bed rail (and papa's poor hand!) for dear life. The midwife asked if mama wanted to take any injection or drug called epidural to help ease the pain, and because it was so painful, mama actually considered taking the Pethidine injection! But when the midwife said it would only help 10%-20% of the pain, mama didn't think it was worth it. Besides, mama managed to deliver your elder brother drug-free the first time; why can't mama do it again right? ;) So mama continued to endure the pain. 

5 hours passed and suddenly, mama felt the urge to push. The midwife didn't let mama to push because mama was only 8cm dilated but the urge to push you out was so strong, that mama pushed anyway even after applying the "panting" breathing technique. Somehow, the panting technique didn't work this time. Mama knew mama shouldn't push you out, mama tried not to, but somehow mama had no control. It felt asthough mama's tummy forced itself to push you out, without mama's consent! I guess you too, were eager to see your little family, huh? :)

Luckily there was this very nice midwife who never stopped giving mama support and encouraging mama to continue to practice the breathing technique. She also offered mama the Ethonox gas (which mama took gladly) to help ease the pain. And then, the stronag urge to push came again. Mama told the midwife, "I need to push! I need to push! I need to push NOW!". That's when she called the doctor in (while holding your head from coming out!) to assist in delivery.
Like you needed assistance! :P It happened in a blink of an eye. The doctor came in, put on her coat, and as soon as the midwives brought the legs-rester up, the doctor approached closer, and without waiting any longer, with just one push, mama pushed you out, justttt in time for the doctor to "catch" you! It happened so fast, the doctor didn't even have time to sit down or assist anything to get you out! We were doing all the work ourselves, baby! High five! :P



Alhamdulillah, on Saturday, February 16th, 2013, mama heard your first cry as you made your much-anticipated debut at 1.44pm, weighing 2.77kg, via normal delivery. And just like with your elder brother, Papa took the honor to cut your umbilical cord, and Qamat at your left ear, while you stay quiet and at peace. :) Alhamdulillah, it was a very fast and smooth delivery. 5 hours in (actual) labor with no tear; I can't ask for more! :)



Adeena Annur, no words can describe how happy your papa and I are to have you in our life, and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us family! If with your elder brother, it was all about blue, guns, dinos and monsters, now that you're here, we can now explore pink, laces, ribbons and barbies together! :) Needless to say, you complete our family. :)

His Virgin Hair

The thing about my little family is that, we are not blessed with luscious, thick hair like some of you do. My hair is thin, Aien's hair is thinner, and little one, Aydein's.. well, let's just say he got his hair from the both of us lah.

And unlike some newborns who are born with thick, luscious hair the moment they are brought to this world, Aydein was born with very fine hair that took forever to grow!

That is why, you can imagine how crushed I felt when we had to shave his head bald for his cukur jambul & aqiqah.

It killed to see my baby's hair being shaved off like that, but since it was sunnah, I let them anyway, and promised myself that no one was ever gonna touch his hair ever again after that day!

And believe it or not, Aydein never had his hair cut anymore after that day! It grew longer and longer that when he showers, his hair would fall down to his shoulders!

However, the thing about Aydein's hair is that.. it's curly. That is why, no matter how long it grows, it doesn't show, because they only end up in adorable curls and ringlets!

However, the thing about curls and ringlets is that, over time, it kinda make you look messy. Which is the case for my boy, especially the curls at the back of his head.

I get disturbed too, looking at the messy back of his hair sometimes, but I didn't want to cut them, worrying that it'll take forever for his hair to grow again!

I've had people telling us to shave his head off regularly in order for it to get thick, so one day, after 2 years ++ of not doing anything to his hair, we decided to... cut off his hair and get that adorably messy curls gone, at least for while.

I wanted to take Aydein to a professional barber, but just like he insisted to cut Aydein's umbilical cord and shaved his son's head bald during aqiqah, Aien insisted to cut his son's virgin hair himself.

I actually cringed at each snip Aien made (sayang ok bela rambut anak sampai 2 tahun lebeh!) but surprisingly, Aydein remained calmed and smiley the whole time! Good boy, Aydein! Macam gini lah anak mama :)

And after a few snips and snaps here and there, I am proud to introduce, the all neat and handsome boy.. Ahmad Aydein!

LAIN GILA KAN RUPA! <3


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

iPhone Drama

There are 2 things in the world I can't live home without -- my purse and phone. Sometimes I even leave home with just my phone and I'd be fine. That pretty much shows how very important my phone is to me. So when my iPhone dropped and got stuck in the sewage, I was flabbergasted!

See I followed my colleagues out in a car to go to somewhere, and as I recall, I placed my phone on my lap. Once we reached my office building, being the clumsy me, I actually got up, totally forgetting about the phone and stepped out of the car, oblivious to my surrounding. Once we reached our office, the next thing I knew, my phone was gone.

I searched everywhere -- in my handbag, under the seat, in the dustbin, behind my laptop -- but I couldn't find it! Suspecting it might have dropped when I got down the car, I went down to search for it, but couldn't find it on the street. So I went up back to my office, and started panicking.

All the while some of my colleagues (Rina, Angie, JoAnn and Anne) were calling my number non-stop just to make sure it has not be stolen. They reassured me that my phone is still ringing, out there somewhere, and that I should keep on searching.

So I did. I went down back again, and asked my colleague to dial my number again. And then, I heard it! I heard this very faint familiar sound coming from.. under the pavement. I neared the sound, squatted down, and there it was! My iPhone under the seawage! It was so near yet so far! I could see it with my eyes, but my hand is not long enough to reach it!


And that's when it happened. Before that, let me stress on one thing. Malaysians really are a bunch of good people. We might be the biggest kepochi in the world, but definitely good at heart. Everybody there tried to help me out. Some, of course just stood there to watch.


At one point, there was so many people crowding the place, it felt like I was selling some minyak mujarab in Chow Kit Road or something. One by one tried to help me out. The more that tried to help me out, the deeper the phone went, until the phone was out of sight, and all I could see is pitch black!


I got even more frantic and even called the Bomba (fire brigade) to help me out! Like, seriously! They refused to help me at first, saying that they only help in cases that involve life and death. And at that point, my motherly instinct kicked in and I knew I had to do, say anything, to save my "baby"! I said, "Encik, this IS my life! If you could just send someone to help me over here, I would be eternally grateful to you. I'd even buy you and your guys lunch, I promise!"

See, I was desperate not just because that's a bloody iPhone that I cling on to every night and day in there. My life truly depended on it because all the important data, emails, and everything is in there! I'd be damned if someone got their hands on my phone!

I guess I must have babbled too much that the guy on the phone just cut me off and said, "Puan, kalau puan tak berenti bercakap ni, macam mana saya nak hantar orang saya tolong Puan?" AND I WAS OVER THE TOP! Hahaha. :P

The bomba actually came, but they didn't manage to do anything, because the next thing I knew, there was this Indonesian pakcik who actually went all out to help me, to the extend of opening the sewage concrete cover and going down into the drain to help rescue my phone!


After a few minutes, he came out of the drainage, all smiley and proud -- with my iPhone in his hand! He was the hero of the day! :D


See, that's one of the perks of having kepochis around you! They might just save your life! :D


Ps : I still can't believe I actually called the Bomba. Damn I'm such a drama queen!

080808 - 080810 ; We've Made It This Far!

note : this is a delayed entry due to some technical problems.

Like I mentioned in my Wedding Website, Mr. Coulomb could not be any more right when he came up with the "Opposites Attract" Law. Because when north meets south, what do you get? A blooming love story of Aien & Thara! :P

2007 - Trip to Pangkor with the University

Really, it's amazing how we can actually get along well with each other sometimes. I, coming from the north, have thick penangite-slang to me. And Aien, coming from the south, has that distinguishable johorian-twang that he finds it hard to let go.

2007 - Prom Night

Since both of us come from a richly cultured family background and obviously different liking in food, deciding in most of the things would tiiiiiiny bit be a problem for us! Like, what to have for lunch – nasi kandar or nasi beriyani! :P

2007 - Prom Night

You've heard all about it. How we started to chat with each other in Yahoo Messenger. How he tried to ask me out on a date a couple of times before, but got turned down. And how it all began when he agreed to escort me to Disney's Princess on Ice.

2005 - First date to Princess On Ice

I can still remember that night vividly in my mind, as though it just happened a week ago. It was our first date and it was magical, almost perfect. It was, like I said, one of the nights when everything was so right, you didn't want it to end. But most importantly, it was a beautiful start to a happy ending. :)

Years gone by, and after 4 years of joy and pain, struggle and success, laughter and tears together, on 8th August 2008, with just one lafaz, Aien finally made me his rightful wife. :)



It was a very emotional moment! My dad cried, I cried! But one thing for sure, Aien was happily smiling and anticipating for the end of the event (if you know what I mean)! :P

2008 - Upacara Menyarung Cincin

Our receptions were celebrated joyously. I could still remember the night when I played dress up, trying on many different wedding costumes and posing away like nobody's business! :P It was so much fun, I do not mind doing it again! Next time however, they will have to make alterations to the dresses! :P Here's a clip of me on Malam Berinai, a day before the reception in Johor.



This Malam Berinai was specially reserved for close friends and families only. The next morning, I was all groomed for the reception in Johor. I could still remember the day. I was so tired from photoshoots, helping out with wedding arrangements, and not getting enough sleep (you know how busy a wedding week could get!), that once the day is over, I was completely worn out and down with fever! Here's a clip of me during the cake cutting ceremony, before I fell sick.



Behind the smiles, and the makeup, nobody knew I was actually already down with flu then! But if you look closely, you could see at some parts of the clip, I was actually sniffing! :P

Sure, like any other married couples, life is not always rainbows and butterflies for us. We've had our share of ups and downs. But one thing for sure, despite the challenges we faced, we held on to each other, through the good and through trying times. It's been 2 years since the day we became man and wife now, and alhamdulillah, we're still going strong, stronger than ever before, now that we have our little prince in our life. :)

2008 - Outdoor Photoshoot

Confidential to Aien, before I met you, I never knew I was capable of loving someone so much. You won me over with everything that you are; your generous smile and charming personality, and if I have to say this a thousand times over, I would -- I love you. :)

2006 - University's Library, not much studying done. :P

Remembering What Used To Be Good

I was rummaging through some files to look for a bill when I came across this file. Can you guess what's inside?


It may look like another ordinary red file to you, but for me, it contains memories so precious, I would never trade it for the world. What I found inside the file, made me smile widely like a mad person.

Have I ever told you that Aien is a very organized person, more organized than me? Anyway, while I was busy looking for the bill, I actually found out that he actually kept ALL the cards I gave to him back when we were *ehems* jiwang-jiwang back then, neatly in a file.

(some of the cards that I took out for illustration purpose :P)

And when I say ALL, I literally meant ALL – together with the wrapping paper, neatly folded and kept in the file.


However, among all cards, this is the card I loved the most.


Why? Because it is 100% handmade and made with love (eceh!) by the none other, yours truly. :) Oh I remember sketching the image of the card on a paper before it was put to "live". I remember driving to the art shop to get the things needed to make the card. I remember sleeping late at night and sewing the card (yes I sew on the card!) because I was running out of time and the card needed to be ready on the next day – his birthday. I remember my roommate telling me I should not be wasting my time making a card and that I should just get him a card from a shop instead. I remember not listening to her. Because he is special, and I wanted to do something special for him.

And then, there was this red box. Can you guess what it is?


It is actually a mini post box which comes with mini "love letters" that I made myself during the first few weeks that Aien and I became an item.


Reading back all the notes, letters, and cards I wrote to Aien, made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Geli pon ade jugak. I can't believe I was that jiwang back then okay. :P

But then again, why did I stop being all jiwang? Why did I stop giving him cards, shower him with gifts and flatter him with the flowery words (even A. Samad Said pon kalah ok) that I used to do a lot back then? What happened to the simple calls and texts, just to say "i miss you" or "i love you" when his day is a little gloomy? What happened to all the effort to make cute little crafts just to show how important he is to me and brighten up his day?

When I read back all the things I wrote to Aien back then, it was full of sweet promises, hopes and expectations. However, I realize now that sadly, some of the sweet promises I made were not fulfilled and I definitely owe it to him after all he's done for me.

It's true. Sometimes, it is these little things that remind us the good times we had, and why we are where we are today, and what we should do, to keep our loved ones closer to us, everyday.

We need to remember what used to be good.

Not Just Another Fairytale

I was going through my private blog that I used to share with my cousin Haniza, and came across this post I posted wayyyy back, when I first started to know aien. It was about our first date actually, and I thought it’s time to share with all of you out here. :)

a lovely evening, lovely event, lovely ending. :)

dear diary,

last night was one of the nights when everything was so right, you didn’t want it to end. it was magical, almost perfect. went out earlier with dee dee to buy a new dress for me for last night’s event. it did cost me a fortune, but it didn’t matter. i wanted last night to be different, i wanted last night to be something that i could remember my whole my life ; i wanted to be a princess. and it was worth it. i felt like a princess, and was being treated like one last night, infact. :)

aien [the guy who took me out] picked me up in the car that took my breath away. and since we barely talk in class, i thought the journey was going to be an awkward one. but boy was i wrong. there was so much to talk about, it felt like we've known each other for like, years! and then, we reached the place. org ramai gila mmg tak ingat la kan. the show had started. saw mickey and minnie waving and skating on the ice. chomels gilaaa! the show was like a short sketch of Aladdin's story, Snow White, CINDERALLY [the best!], beauty and the beast, Little Mermaid, Mulan, the list goes on. i kept squealing, that at one point, i forgot that the person beside me was aien, not little pony. heehee =P but i couldn’t help it! they were ever so priddy, so graceful on the ice, i couldn’t stop myself! =P owh and the popcorn! sakit hati gilaaa.. they sold the popcorn for 10 bucks okay? GILA TAK? it was my mistake that i ASKED for the pop corn dulu, baru tanye the price.. habes, when org tu dah handed the popcorn to me and asked for 10 bucks, takkan nak kata "ehh bang, tanak la.. mahal la pulak" kan? so we decided to split 5 bucks each, and i swear to God, it was the tasteless popcorn i’ve ever tasted! GSC punye popcorn lagi sedap okay. eee sakit hati gilaaa.

but besides the popcorn, everything was just.. right. went for dinner after the show, and i learnt a whole lot about him along the way. i don’t know why he opened up so easily to me like he did last night, but i felt honored. :) and when he sent me to my block, we said our goodnites and just as i was stepping out of his car, he asked in a very cute way, "eh kejap, you nak present tak?" and i went like.. "HUH?" then he turned and took something from the backseat anddd... handed me a box which has... a princess Barbie in ittt! heee.. =D okay so im not gonna lie. i was flattered, and touched. hehe ;) eh surprise surprise ni gua mmg suka bebb.. apa lagi bab bab prezzie prezzie ni.. lagi la meloncat! haha =P and of course it didn’t just stop there. D'UH. =P he got back and msged me and we spent the next few minutes msgin each other until we both got sleepy. ;) i don’t know where it leads from here, but it was indeed, one of the best nights in my life. :)

and as all you might have guessed, 2 weeks later, we got together, and it has been 3 years 2 months ++ since! :)