The Dilemmas of a Working Mama

It has been 2 months now since I returned to work after the 2 months confinement period. Time sweeps by me really fast, and before I knew it, Aydein just turned 4 months young.

During the last couple of weeks, I have encountered a few dilemmas that I think, are quite common for working mummies.

Breastfeeding and breastmilk

I have not been producing much milk lately. I do not know whether it's genetic or lack of stimulation, but I just don't produce as much milk as before. I do think it's the gene (although my gynae doesn't think so) because my mum, my aunties, my opah, all had the same problem. Poor Aydein, he gets restless when latching on me sometimes. I read that the only way to boost one's milk production is to have the baby latch on you for as much as possible because the less you breastfeed your baby, the less milk you make. But with me being away for 9 hours everyday, it's almost impossible. I understand that I need to pump for at least every 2 hours at work in order to encourage the milk production, but goodness, I just can't find the time with the heaps of work waiting to be done! In the end, I will have to settle with only one pump session everyday and the most I can get out of me is 4ozs, and if I'm lucky, 5ozs everyday. Well, better something than nothing, eh?

I have also tried so many traditional tips to begin with. The different types of leafy veges, the longan, the lobak putih, you name it. I now even drink gallons of water everyday to boost my milk supply, but to no avail. I have received the Milkmaid Tea ordered from momslittleone.com even, as suggested by Kak Riena, but well, I am still waiting for the right time to try that product out for a reason I can't reveal here – not yet.

Quality Time

Ever since I returned to work, I can't help but to envy those stay-at-home mums who have ample of time to spend with their babies and getting to see them grow everyday. You see, my official working hours are from 9.30am – 6.30pm. But since I requested not to work on Saturday shifts, my working hours are from 9.30am – 7.30pm everyday. Therefore by the time I reach home, it will be around 8.00pm, and by the time I finished dinner, it will be around 8.30pm. I will spend the precious few hours with Aydein, and at 10pm (11pm at most), I will put him down to sleep. He will wake up a few times for feeds, go back to sleep, and will be wide awake at about 8.30am the next morning. I will then get myself prepared for work again, so exactly how many hours do I get to spend with my baby?

The Maid

The great thing about having a maid is that it makes your life a whole lot easier. However, when you are a working mum and your mum-duty is taken over by the maid most of the day and you only come back at night to resume your mum-duty, it doesn't seem very "great" anymore. I quote one example when I had a very bad migraine+gastric one night that I had to ask for the maid to change Aydein's diaper because I had to lie down and rest. I watched as she changed Aydein to a fresh new diaper while playing with him. And to my surprise, I heard my baby's first laugh! I could not explain my feelings, but I know it was a mixture of many different feelings – happy, surprised, excited,... jealous. – my baby's first laugh and it was not me who made him laugh! I understood from my maid that it was not actually the first time he laughed and my heart actually sank even lower. What else was I missing while I was away?

They won't be babies forever – this phrase keeps going in my head over and over, but I don't have much choice now, do I? It's every working mum's dilemma, and all working mums go through this so like it or not, I will have to face it. My employer has been kind and wonderful enough to me all this while, and I can't complain.

However this is my sacrifice for Aydein's well being in the future, so forgive me baby, mama has to do this for you to have a comfortable life in the future. Mama and papa both have big plans for you when you grow up, so mama needs you to know how much we love you and how we want nothing but the best for you. Aydein sweetheart, mama misses you already.

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The Little Family & Raya

Raya was extra fun this year!

Of course it has got to do with the additional member in the family, my charming little Aydein, to spice things up this year.

I had fun playing dress-up with him! :D Now that he has gained quite a weight, it's really nice to see him in his new, nicely-fitted Raya outfits!

rugged and handsome - my personal favorite

heart breaker - haha. tak lah, baby kan? :P
collared white romper - for first raya

mr milkman - haha love this!

long sleeve & jeans - his first jeans!

Oh so fun! I cant even imagine what I would buy, and do, if I were to have a daughter! :P Anyways, I wanted so much to see him in his one and only silver baju melayu that we bought earlier to match with our silver theme for first raya, but as all of you might have guessed, the baju melayu is still a wee-bit too big for him! Ish. Really, they should have those with size 0! But anyhu, we are keeping it for next raya, hoping that he wont outgrow his baju melayu by that time. Slim chance I know, but we'll see how it goes anyway. :)

Believe it or not, later that night, we rushed off to Johor. Imagine the journey from Penang all the way to Johor. Utara-Selatan ok! Penat macam nak mati, gua cakap sama lu. I mean you know, dah penat-penat beraya sana sini, makan itu ini, packing-packing, kena lari ke Johor pulak – on the same day!

But we are lucky, well, in a way, to have an F1 driver in the family. So regardless the "Biar Lambat Asal Selamat" campaign thrown by the government, my husband who has a need for speed drove *ready or not* . . . 220km/h, sometimes pushing it to even 240km/h all the bloody way! We were VERY lucky we reached Johor safely in one piece! So instead of the usual 7-8 hours drive that my dad usually take (haha), we reached Johor in just 4 hours – record! Banyak la kau punye record.


Raya at Johor was very tiring, but enjoyable nonetheless. We went as a big family in my sister in law's Alphard, so you can imagine how hectic and "ribut" the MPV was, with 2 babies, 3 kids, and 7 adults in it! Poor Aydein, who is quite a traveler, even went quite berserk at the end of the day. Mana tak nya. We started beraya at about 11am in the morning, and we only came back at about 1am the next morning! Yes, we were out on the road, visiting Aien’s relatives and close families for more than 12 hours that day! Sorry boy, blame it on papa okay. Hehe.

This is taken on our way to raya visits - before he went berserk. :P



Happy betol dia nak pi beraya. For the first few hours, that is. :P

Anyway, although I know this has been delayed, on behalf of Aien and Aydein, I would still like to wish all of you out there, Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir & Batin to you and family. Please forgive our wrongdoings to you, and may your Eid be filled with lots of celebrations and festivities. Have a joyous and sparkling Eid, everybody!

Aydein's Toothless Smile

Aydein wanted to share his happiness with the world last night so he flashed his big, BIG smile and asked me to have it recorded with my camera phone.

Oh yes, don't mind the background sound, though. It's annoying, I know. Hehe.




Now who can resist that precious smile? :) :)

Elya, my friend, was one of the firsts to see the video and she said...


Haha. Aydein, Aydein jangan kawan dengan Auntie Elya tau. :P

What You Can Do, I Can Do Too!

Dear Diary,

I am slowly getting adjusted to this world. In fact, I find it beautiful, now that I can see. I can even now appreciate the colorful lullaby musical mobile at my cot that mama and papa have long hung them even before my arrival.


I can even now see the bright "Dancing Tiger" (as papa would call it) dangling at the back seat of our car! I find them very amusing! :)


When sitting with support or propped up against sofa or something, I can hold my head steady and erect! It's so much fun, because this way, I can enjoy TV with mama and papa! Yes, this is also my new-found hobby – watching TV. I can stare at the vibrant TV screen for quite some time as though I understand it. But really, I find it fascinating, the TV. My doctor told me to limit the TV-time to only an hour a day, though. Ish doctor ni. Tak sporting lah.

When lying on my tummy, I can now lift my chest and head up steady to about 45 degrees for several moments too. Mama said it's good for my neck muscle.



Oh and did I mention that I can now smile and laugh too? And it's so funny, because everytime I do, mama laughs too, and we'll just sit there and crack up together. :) Mama, I want to hear you make that funny noise again! :D


And I don't demand as frequent feeds as I used to anymore. I can sleep longer and take in much more milk (as much as 5ozs per feed now!) than before. :D

But lately I have been very grumpy. I have been drooling quite a lot too. I heard mama and papa said they saw something white at the sides of my gum last few days, so it may be that I am teething. Mama finds it quite amusing that I'm teething at 3 months. But it seems that it's quite normal, so I'm looking forward to biting you, and you, and you in a few months time! Teehee.

I cant wait to tell you what I can do next! Until the next milestone from me!

- Aydein

From The Diary of Ahmad Aydein

Dear Diary,

I am sure by now you must already know who I am. But in case you’ve forgotten, yes, I am Ahmad Aydein, proud son of mummy Thara and daddy Aien. I was born on the 31st of May at 3.03pm and am now 3 months 16 days! Lets do some flash back now, shall we?

Here's how I look like as a newborn :


During this time, I remember being latched on mama almost all the time! I remember mama being quite depressed during this time as I kept waking her up, almost every hour, (sometimes less) for feeds. I heard Opah suggesting to my mama how she should pump so that Opah or papa can help feeding me, but again she could not, because I did not sleep much, and all I wanted was to be in the comfort of my mama’s warm embrace.

Everytime I finished feeding, she would put me down, and I would start crying again, and she would pick me up over again to comfort me. Forgive me, mama. I did not quite like this new world that you have just introduced me. I felt so vulnerable and tiny. But I also remember you telling me when I was still in your tummy that I needed to grow strong and healthy, and that is why I needed all the nourishments from you, that is why I kept on asking feeds from you – to become just that!

But look what I have become, mama! All thanks to you and the Almighty, I am now a chubby, healthy baby!


I remember being just as little as 2.75kgs when I was born, but at 6.8kgs now, even 10 minutes of feeding me would make your arms numb eh? Heee. But now that I am a tad bit older, I think I look a lot like you, lah mama. I heard many people commenting the same thing, and I could not agree more! I know now where I got my handsome features from! Heee. Oh, here’s a picture to prove it.

(click on picture for larger view)

Can you tell which and which? :D

Anyways. This blogging stuff is really fun, no? But I think I should stop now or I might get hungry again and pester my mama for more milk. Hehe. I will write again soon!

- Aydein.

Durians and Labor

I was never a fan of durian. However, my likings for durians got better once I got pregnant, thanks to my husband who IS a big, BIG fan of durian and kept introducing the fruit to me bit by bit until, well, I grow fond of it. :P

And one fateful night, it happened. I asked my husband if he wanted to have a go at the durians hut near Uptown foodcourt. Of course he didn't say no, and we walloped quite a bit of durians that night ; I think I had about 10 cloves or more that night!

On the way back, I felt this uneasy feeling in my tummy. I felt like doing my big business and, well, I did! Teehee. However, my tummy still felt uneasy then. And I felt my unborn baby tossed and turned every now and then. Call it mother's instinct, but somehow I knew something was up. Afraid that the durians I ate were making my baby "panas", immediately I asked Aien to bring me to the nearest clinic for a scan just to see if my baby is okay and that no umbilical cord is around his neck.

However while searching for the clinic, I was also monitoring my contractions. I remember from the Lamaze class I went, that periodic contraction is one of the signs for labor and well, the contractions I felt then was indeed every 10 mins. I was not due until another week, so I was quite unsure if the contractions I felt was really labor contractions or merely another Braxton Hicks contractions.

But we decided to go for a check in SJMC anyway just to see if everything is okay since the clinics were all closed (it was already 3AM then!). After registering, the midwife told me to lay down and make myself comfortable while she examined me. And sure enough, it was time – I was already 3cm dilated!


I got admitted at about 3.30am and waited until after Subuh at about 5.30am to break the good news to both of our families. :) In the meantime, my contractions were getting stronger and longer. By 1.30PM, I could not stand it any longer as the pain got unbearable and asked for an epidural. The midwife told me to hang in there while she examined me, and guess what? It was too late! I was already 7cm dilated, so no epidural or any form of drugs to help me! Goodness!

All I could do was hang on for dear life as she provided me with the gas to inhale that honestly, did not work half as helpful as I thought it would be! But anything at this moment that could help alleviate the pain even one bit worked for me, so yes I used it anyways. And then, it was time!

I was ready to deliver! I pushed. and I pushed. and I pushed with all my heart. At one point I heard Aien said "Sayang, I can see the baby's head! Push lagi sayang!" and after a few pushes, exactly at 3.03pm on the 31st May 2009 , I heard my baby's first cry! It was one of the best moments ever! Whatever pain I was feeling, completely dissapeared. And when I held him for the first time in my arms, tears of happiness welled up at my eyes and I cant help but praise the Almighty for blessing me with this beautiful prince. :)


It's been 9 months, Ahmad Aydein, and you're finally here. :)